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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
They said it

"Seems like the war in Iraq is going smoothly. Can't seem to find the terrorists, yet we have a tremendous amount of film of terrorists training in their camps. They need to find the guy dropping off the film." -- Jerry Seinfeld, Saturday night at the Hollywood benefit for Autism Speaks.
posted by Benyamin | 9:12 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Baruch dayan haemet
We regret to inform you of the passing of Michael Wittenberg, the husband of Broadway star Bernadette Peters. He was killed on Monday when his helicopter struck a high-voltage cable. May his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion.
posted by Benyamin | 9:06 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Yipikayea ... not

Bruce Willis, it seems, is not a fan of Kabbalah. "Bruce's feelings are that Demi and Ashton can do whatever they want with their personal and religious lives," says an insider, "but he puts down his foot when it comes to his daughters and does not want them visiting the Kabbalah Centre." Don't worry, Bruce. Even us Jews don't want our kids going there.
posted by Benyamin | 10:23 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Not so good after all
Henry Hill, the somewhat-observant Jew who escaped the mob and inspired the 1990 film GoodFellas, has finally gone to jail ... for drug possesion ... in Nebraska.
posted by Benyamin | 9:25 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, September 26, 2005
Chabad's 'friends'
Holy friggin cow. Thanks to Canonist for pointing us to this gem: Joey (Matt LeBlanc) and his sister (Drea de Matteo) shilling for the annual Chabad telethon in this video. Now, if only all of the Joey episodes could be this enlightening.
posted by Benyamin | 10:31 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Hail to the new chief
Ok, so Jews do control Hollywood. You got a problem with that?
posted by Benyamin | 10:27 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Dude, where's my kallah?
Mazal Tov to Kabbalah spokespeople Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher on their reported wedding this weekend, which capped off a two-year romance for the couple.
posted by Benyamin | 10:24 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, September 23, 2005
Curb YOUR enthusiasm

Praise the Lord. This Sunday night sees the long-awaited return of Curb Your Enthusiasm. At the fifth season premiere, show star Larry David was seen sitting in the back row. "He handpicked the worst seats in the house," real-life wife Laurie David told the New York Daily News. "He's a curmudgeon -- even at his own premiere."
posted by Benyamin | 10:34 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Holy Wood

The Associated Press has an interesting story out today about the latest trend in Hollywood: Bypassing the usual mainstream ad route and instead promoting family-friendly fare directly to church groups. Hoping to ride the wave of the phenomenally successful box office of The Passion of the Christ (which used a similar direct to church groups promotional campaign), studios are hoping the strategy will take hold. Fox has even launched a Web site, foxfaith.com, to help promote said films. Last month Disney made the bold move of deciding to only sell it's new direct-to-DVD Christmas cartoon at that bastion of right-wing Christian retailing, Wal-Mart. And NBC is also getting in on the trend (as we reported earlier this week), promoting their faith-based new show Three Wishes by sending advanced copies of tonight's episode to a number of small-town churches. The funny thing is that the AP report cites two recent examples of movie studios taking their films to the house of God before the multiplex -- Disney's The Greatest Story Ever Told starring the very Jewish Shia Lebeouf and Paul Reiser's new film about a Jewish father and son trying to reconnect. A good way to promote family films or a secret plot to infiltrate the world of the Jews? You decide.
posted by Benyamin | 9:59 AM | Link | (0) comments |
It's all about me
On-the-lam director Roman Polanski is tackling a new film to help him cope with his Holocaust past: Oliver Twist.
posted by Benyamin | 9:57 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Da Vinci diet
From worldwide Christian controversy to diet fad. Nice.
posted by Benyamin | 9:56 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Goat jeez
This Croatian reality show (yes, they have those there) is taking the Biblical dictum of sending a goat to hell a little too far.
posted by Benyamin | 9:35 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Producing a hit
As we all wait with baited breath for Mel Brook's updated film version of his beloved Producers starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Uma Thurman, and Will Ferrell, Sony Pictures has just released the film's trailer. It looks so bad, it must be good.
posted by Benyamin | 12:01 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Swimming with the Schwim
Man, this guy just can't seem to get enough. David Schwimmer was seen (once again) hitting on a girl at a bar.
posted by Benyamin | 11:04 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Brit's brit
So it seems our prediction of a Britney bris weren't so far off. Sources are saying that the Southern Baptist pop star wants to have a Kabbalah blessing for the child in a "bris-like" ceremony, though it's "unclear exactly how far they can go on such a thing," says the source, "because even though she studies Kabbalah, she's technically not Jewish." Man, those darn technicalities.
posted by Benyamin | 10:52 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Movie pimp
Coming soon to a porn theater near you: The life and times of jailed Jewish pimp Jason Itzler.
posted by Benyamin | 1:02 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, September 19, 2005
Splitsville 90210

Actress Tori "My dad is richer than your dad" Spelling is reportedly splitting up with her husband, actor Charlie Shanian, after only a year of marriage. Does that mean we'll be getting back our vegetable scooper? And speaking of marriages going kaput, we regret to inform you that Renee Zellweger has split from her husband, country crooner Kenny Chesney. Yes, we know Renee's not a member of the tribe, but she did play an Orthodox Brooklyn Jew in 1998's A Price Above Rubies. And so, in our book, that counts for something.
posted by Benyamin | 10:51 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Must see TV
Ok, so we had Seinfeld for like nine years. Now NBC is marketing to Christians.
posted by Benyamin | 10:37 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Mystic madness
Word on the street is Madonna's husband Guy Ritchie and Demi Moore's boy toy Ashton Kutcher are both apparently fed up with Kabbalah. Finally ... a Hollywood trend we can all jump in on.
posted by Benyamin | 10:31 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Spears' stork
Does this mean there's going to be a bris next Wednesday?
posted by Benyamin | 1:42 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Gettin' Kinky

You best be taking Kinky seriously. The former Texas Jewboy and acclaimed mystery novelist is dead serious about his run for the Texas governor's office. The New Yorker recently spent a day with the quirky candidate. As Dan Halpern eloquently writes, "if elected the first Jewish governor of Texas, he would reduce the speed limit to 54.95."
posted by Benyamin | 1:41 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Comic relief
Whoa. Jewish comics Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Larry David, Garry Shandling, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, and Jerry Seinfeld are all set to perform at the inaugural edition of The Comedy Festival November 17-19 in Las Vegas. I think we may have just wet ourselves.
posted by Benyamin | 11:30 AM | Link | (1) comments |
Married to the mob

Word is that Jamie-Lynn DiScala, the actress formerely known as Jamie-Lynn Siegler and the daughter of Tony Soprano, may be ending her marriage to her sheygetz manager. She was recently seen cavorting at New York's Fashion Week parties without her wedding ring. So maybe there's still hope for Jewish single men.
posted by Benyamin | 11:29 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Seeing Green
Have you been forgetting to TiVo Seth Green's maniacally funny Robot Chicken? No problem. The Cartoon Network has now put up streaming videos of some of their shows. And for those of you who are interested in the mad genius behind these shows, check out our interview with Nick Wiedenfeld.
posted by Benyamin | 4:57 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Shaffer shofar

Paul Shaffer, David Letterman's band maestro, has decided to play the role of Simon Cowell by becoming a judge of the National Jewish Outreach Program's shofar blowing contest. Once again, it seems, Les Moonves (who's Shaffer's boss) is in control of everything.
posted by Benyamin | 4:12 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, September 08, 2005
They said it
"Jerry Seinfeld just named his baby 'Shepherd,' which is Hebrew for 'Please give me a wedgie.' Britney [Spears] wants to name her baby 'Charlie' while Kevin Federline wants to go with 'Meal Ticket'" -- Christian Finnegan on The Today Show.
posted by Benyamin | 11:27 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Monica moving over there

Everyone's favorite Jewish intern is crossing the pond, picking up her purse business and moving to London. Lewinsky has been accepted into a master's program for Psychology at the London School of Economics. We can only assume she'll strike up a relationship with an older man in authority, perhaps a professor or, if we're really lucky, maybe even Jude Law.
posted by Benyamin | 11:19 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Pimp my bride


Jason Itzler really has some chutzpah. The disgraced New York macher says he broke off his engagement to America's #1 escort, because he's holier than thou. "I am from a nice Jewish family, and my father would disown me if I married a hooker and a heroin addict," Itzler told the New York Post from his prison cell. Yes, because we're sure his former bride is proud that her fiancee is a jailed pimp.
posted by Benyamin | 12:07 PM | Link | (0) comments |
They said it

"I picked a bad time to quit crack, I'll tell you that." -- Actor Jeremy Piven telling the New York Daily News about how he plans to lose weight to play a coke addicted musician at the end of his rope in a new film called Smokin' Aces.
posted by Benyamin | 11:18 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Even Palestinians hate Spielberg
Nobody seems to be too excited about Steven Spielberg's upcoming film about the 1972 massacre of Israeli Olympians. Last week we reported about the frazzled reaction of locals in Budapest where the film is currently being shot. Now comes word that the Palestinian mastermind behind the attacks is upset that Spielberg didn't consult with him. "I know nothing about this film. If someone really wanted to tell the truth about what happened he should talk to the people involved, people who know the truth," Daoud told Reuters by telephone from an undisclosed location in the Middle East. Sure, because Spielberg is exactly the guy you want to make a pro-Palestinian movie.
posted by Benyamin | 10:38 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Shapiro out
The so-called Jewish run media has one less mob boss.
posted by Benyamin | 9:45 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Britney babble

This just in: Brainy Britney can't read Hebrew (which we already knew). "I read the Kabbalah books and I meditate on them," the pregnant pop princess tells the new issue of Elle magazine. "They are all in Hebrew. I don't understand everything. But it's kind of OK that you don't."
posted by Benyamin | 3:29 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Farewell, little buddy
We're saddened to report the passing of Bob Denver, aka Gilligan from Gilligan's Island. Although he wasn't Jewish, as fas as we know, the show's creator, Sherwood Schwartz is a member of the tribe so we're sure he's sitting shiva.
posted by Benyamin | 3:27 PM | Link | (0) comments |
The induction of Roth

Philip Roth, perhaps America's finest Jewish author, is (finally) getting the royal treatment. And he owes it all to staying sober. "Booze was the problem with Hemingway, with Faulkner, and with so many others. They both died in the early 60s," says the 72-year-old Roth. "It's almost inconceivable."
posted by Benyamin | 2:43 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, September 02, 2005
The joker
What? Jackie Mason's funny?!?
posted by Benyamin | 1:30 PM | Link | (0) comments |
And the shiny apple goes to...

It's been a good year for actor Gabe Kaplan. First, he won big at a poker tournament. Now he's named the most memorable teacher on television by Inside TV magazine for his portrayal of Gabe Kotter in the 1970s sitcom Welcome Back, Kotter. Mazal tov, man. Although our vote would've went to David Schwimmer's paleontology professor from Friends.
posted by Benyamin | 9:45 AM | Link | (0) comments |
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