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Friday, July 29, 2005
So a rabbi and a gay guy walk into a bar...
When George W. has a dirty joke to share, he tells fellow texan Kinky Friedman.
posted by Benyamin | 9:27 AM | Link | (13) comments |
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Well Scarlett, I do declare

Scarlett Johansson is shocked by her own cleavage. Sort of. While driving through Hollywood recently the actress slammed on her brakes when she came upon a rather large billboard promoting her new sci-fi action flick The Island. The cause os the sudden stop? Scarlett was wowed by the size of her breast. "It's very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge." Ah yes, the often fun power of advertising.
posted by Benyamin | 1:55 PM | Link | (1) comments |
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Foreign films are fun ... not
Some studio execs, apparently assuming that people rushed to see The Passion of the Christ because it was in Aramaic (and not, more likely, because Christians revere Jesus), have now greenlighted a new film by Mel Gibson which will be completely in an ancient Mayan dialect. We can hardly wait.
posted by Benyamin | 9:48 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Good Christians don't pass judgment

After Jessica Simpson's new music video for The Dukes of Hazzard was bashed for its lewdness by Members Of The Resistance, the pop star turned reality star turned actor is now firing back at the fringe Christian group. "It didn't really surprise me because I grew up with a lot of that backlash," says Simpson, who is a pastor's daughter. "That's why I didn't end up going into the Christian music industry. I think that if they're really good Christians the judgment wouldn't be there." To judge for yourself (ok, to see Simpson look smokin' hot), watch the video for "These Boots Are Made for Walking."
posted by Benyamin | 9:32 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Death curse as political operative
Pirates of the Mediterranean: Curse of the Sharon.
posted by Benyamin | 11:04 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Schwimmer: Seeking Frumster profile

Hoping to single-handedly buck the national trend towards intermarriage, David Schwimmer says he would like to find himself a Jewish wife. "My parents would be thrilled (if I married a Jew)," he told contactmusic.com. "It makes things a lot easier, sharing a cultural and religious background, but I was raised completely without prejudice or bias in terms of meeting people of other races or cultures or religions - and I am pretty open." This, of course, coming from a guy who was called "kyke, heeb, hook-nose, Shylock" growing up.
posted by Benyamin | 10:52 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Spielberg's baby gets name, and it wasn't at a bris

The film formerly known around Hollywood as The Untitled Steven Spielberg Project has finally gotten itself a bonified name: Munich. Currently filming overseas, the movie stars Eric Bana (The Hulk) as a Mossad agent who seeks revenge on the 11 Palestinians who were suspected of murdering 11 Israeli athletes at the Olympic Games in Munich in 1972. Spielberg is rushing through production to have it released before Christmas. Now that this film has finally been named, the crack staff at Spielberg's office can start thinking of good names for his 2007 Untitled Ukrainian Holocaust Project. Seriously.
posted by Benyamin | 10:21 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, July 25, 2005
King Christ: The Game

Think Grand Theft Auto is too risque? Well, you're in luck. The fourth annual Christian Game Developers Conference is taking place in Portland this week where they will hand out awards for the best Christian videogames of the year. As well, conference propaganda claims that the gathering will also "equip game developers to glorify God." In a related story, Mrs. Pac Man has become a born-again virgin.
posted by Benyamin | 9:54 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Oh Ricky you're so fine

Ricky Martin (yes, he's still around) is seeking to put an end to Arab stereotypes. "I have been a victim of stereotypes," he told a Middle Eastern youth conference in Amman. "I come from Latin America and to some countries, we are considered 'losers,' drug traffickers, and that is not fair because that is generalizing." Yes, Ricky. Generalizing is very bad. For that matter, so was Menudo.
posted by Benyamin | 9:37 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, July 22, 2005
Yet another one bites the dust

In what appears to be a growing trend among Jewish celebrity hotties, Amanda Peet has announced her engagement to screenwriter David Benioff, the son of a former head of Goldman Sachs. "His family are multi-gazillionaires," says a source. Good, then we'll save the ten bucks we were going to spend on her wedding present.
posted by Benyamin | 9:40 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Becoming a man has nothing to do with Love
Courtney Love is upset (so what's nu?) at Steven Spielberg for not inviting her daughter, France Bean, to his son's recent bar mitzvah even though the two children are friends. Yes, Courtney, we empathize with you. We were invited either.
posted by Benyamin | 9:39 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Who's your interior decorator? Goebbels?

We like to keep our readers informed so here's an update from our earlier post. Four sketches by Adolf Hitler were sold to a single buyer for an undisclosed sum in Canada on Tuesday night. Ah, yes. There's nothing that screams warm home decor than artwork signed by "A. Hitler".
posted by Benyamin | 9:20 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Cult? What cult?
This just in. Scientologists are afraid of bad PR.
posted by Benyamin | 10:18 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Em not
Rapper Eminem isn't a fan of Kabbalah. That sounds about right.
posted by Benyamin | 9:43 AM | Link | (1) comments |
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Brit's bris
Looks like one of Britney's babies will be a boy. She is planning a "special blessing" at the Kabbalah Centre to be held seven days after the birth. Could it be a bris?
posted by Benyamin | 9:20 AM | Link | (1) comments |
Cross reference

Funnyman David Cross (who graced our Jan/Feb cover) has signed on to write a collection of rants/essays for Warner Books. "Now before you go accusing me of selling out please consider the following: Time/Warner donates as much as .08% of it's annual grosses to buying newer soccer shoes for middle class kids who would like to have them," explains Cross. "Didn't know that? Well, it's true." The book will be published in 2007.
posted by Benyamin | 9:13 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Madonna repents (but not for Swept Away)

Madonna chats about how Kabbalah has changed her life in the cover story for the new August issue of Vogue. In the lenghty interview and photo spread, the 46-year-old Queen Esther repents for her wayward past. "I was a very selfish person," she tells the magazine. "You go through periods of your life where the world does revolve around you, but you can't live your whole life that way." The cover story is just the beginning of Madonna's campaign to tell the worls she's changed. She'll be starring in a documentary called "I'm Going to Tell You a Secret," which is due out later this year. For those who can't wait, check out this teaser trailer.
posted by Benyamin | 11:58 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Beefcake Babs
In case anyone cares, Barbra Streisand has gained 20 pounds because of her love of cupcakes.
posted by Benyamin | 11:42 AM | Link | (0) comments |
My son, the Jewish doctor
Stop the presses. The surgeon who reattached John Wayne Bobbitt's severed penis made aliyah. Man, isn't Israeli pride just grand?
posted by Benyamin | 11:19 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monica @ the movies
Monica Lewinsky needs a movie buddy.
posted by Benyamin | 7:35 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, July 18, 2005
Watershed events
MSNBC's scoop reports on the odd pairing of Katherine Harris and Kabbalah water. For more on the "scandal", see Steven I. Weiss's continuing coverage.
posted by Benyamin | 12:59 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Ali G update

No wonder it's taking so long for HBO to finally air the third season of the bitingly funny Da Ali G Show. The comic, who dresses up as a variety of characters and interviews unsuspecting subjects, is having trouble finding people who don't already know who he is. In recent weeks, his cover's been blown on the New York subway, in Times Square, and at his real-life fiancee's film premiere (where he allegedly attacked a photographer). Now comes word that Ali G, whose real name is Sacha Baron Cohen, ran into some difficulty when trying to rile some Mississippians into making racist comments. "The actors tried to provoke my family members with questions regarding slavery, blacks, Jews, Yankees, gay rights, President Bush and the war in Iraq," says Phildelphia-based producer Heather Marshall. For Ali G, these topics are just par for the course. Meanwhile, there is some good news for the British comedian. His finacee's new film, Wedding Crashers debuted better than expected with $32.2 million. And, as if that wasn't enough, she says she's considering converting to Judaism. "I'm constantly asking him questions about it because it's really beautiful and complex," Isla Fisher says of Judaism. "It's so interesting to find out what lies beneath the Jewish afro."
posted by Benyamin | 12:37 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Um .... interesting
"I always believed that Hitler was Jewish and gay....I always believed also that Hitler was sexually molested by this Jewish relative of his, and personally I know the feeling of being sexually molested by a male relative. You want to kill everybody after this, you want to ruin the world....This fashion show is my personal revenge on Hitler for killing most of my family on my father's side in the Holocaust." -- Fashion designer Apollo Braun (aka Israeli born Doron Braunshtein) on the inspiration for his new line.
posted by Benyamin | 12:34 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, July 15, 2005
Zach attack
Word is Scrubs stare Zach Braff has broken up with Mandy Moore and is now on the prowl for a new woman. Single Jewish women everywhere can breathe a deep sigh of relief.
posted by Benyamin | 10:47 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Christian god joins must-see tv

As we reported back in March, NBC was considering putting on a sitcom starring a "contemporary, cool" Jesus figure who helps an Episcopal minister with his pill popping problems. Well the netowrk, struggling in the prime time ratings war, has decided to give the show a chance and has ordered 13 episodes. The Book of Daniel, as the show will be called, will star prennial C-lister Aidan Quinn. Ohhhh ... we smell success already.
posted by Benyamin | 9:43 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Best dis of Scientology
"If I were gay, Tom wouldn't be on the top of my list ... It would be Brad Pitt. I'm more offended by the rumors saying I'm a Scientologist." -- Matchbox 20 frontman Rob Thomas on the widespread rumors that he was caught in bed with Tom Cruise.
posted by Benyamin | 9:41 AM | Link | (0) comments |
The wedding ringer

Thanks to Nextbook.org for pointing us to an MTV interview with director Tim Burton. In addition to chatting about his update on the famous Wonka tale, he also discussed his next film The Corpse Bride which opens in September. As MTV's Kurt Loder explains, the film, strangely enough, has its roots in an anti-Semitic tradition.
"The story, which I'm afraid has Tim Burton written all over it, apparently dates from 19th-century Russia, a period when anti-Semitism might be said to have been the national pastime, and Jewish brides-to-be were sometimes kidnapped and murdered (before they could produce any more Jews) and then buried in their bridal gowns.

One day (if I may slip into the folk-tale idiom for a moment), a young man on his way to be married stops in a forest and, spotting a fingerlike stick protruding from the ground, playfully slips onto it the wedding ring intended for his fiancée. The "stick" turns out actually to be the skeletal finger of a murdered bride; she leaps to life, shakes the worms out of her hair, and declares that she and he are now, in fact, married. She is most insistent. You can imagine the complications."
As Keanu Reeves would say, "Whoa."
posted by Benyamin | 9:30 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Paris is burning
Paris Hilton's finacee Paris Latsis (all jokes apply) allegedly comes from a long line of Nazi sympathizers. Eh, we always knew Paris was anti-Semitic.
posted by Benyamin | 9:25 AM | Link | (1) comments |
Head case

The New York Post reports that Howard Stern doesn't like to wear a yarmulke. Who knew? The radio shock jock was at the Jewish Center of the Hamptons attending a conversion ceremony of a former Miss Hawaii when someone asked Stern if he was intrested in donning a Jew-beanie. But Stern declined the generous offer. We don't blame him. How cooky would that guy look with a kippah on his head?
posted by Benyamin | 9:22 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Goonie gets job. Film at 11.

Former Goonie and original cast member of The Surreal Life Corey Feldman is trying to revive his career by taking part in an off-Broadway adaptation of, get this, Fatal Attraction. The play, which opened this week to (surprise!) critical raves, is a spoof of the 1987 thriller starring Michael Douglas and Glenn Close and comes complete with musical dance numbers. Feldman must be doing well -- he's still got stalkers. Glad to hear the Hollywood hierarchy hasn't changed much since License to Drive.
posted by Benyamin | 2:28 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Hitler, meet eBay
For those who saw the ridiculous 2002 film Max you know that before Hitler was an evil dictator, he was a struggling artist shunned by a Jewish art dealer. (The film even goes so far as to make the wild claim that if only the Jewish art dealer would've been more open-minded about Hitler's art, the entire Holocaust never would've happened.) In any event, four of Adolf's sketches (including two Christmas cards) will be auctioned off on July 19th in Montreal. We expect those sketches will fetch a pretty penny so, if you're still in the market for a Hitler auction, you may want to try the Old-Style Cast-Iron Hitler Skunk Paperweight Figurine which is selling on eBay.
posted by Benyamin | 9:55 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Yes, Scarlett, we give a damn

Yes, apparently there is a God. Scarlett Johansson, who's now dating Josh Hartnett, told her Island director Michael Bay that she'd rather appear naked in a love scene than wear a "cheap bra." Unfortunately for fans of the Jewish actress, the film is rated PG-13 so there'll be no nudity. But, alas, that's what the DVD version is for.
posted by Benyamin | 9:31 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
It's not Bio-Dome dude, but it's funny

Following in the creative footsteps of the Universal Pictures PR department, our favorite Jewish D-lister is offering a money back guarantee on his new reality show. Pauly Shore says that if you don't laugh at Minding the Store (which premieres this Sunday night), TBS will send you a dollar. Only a dollar? Guess Shore really is learning some business acumen.
posted by Benyamin | 10:58 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Comedy Central 'scrub'bing up
Congrats to Zach Braff. Comedy Central has just purchased syndication rights to his NBC sitcom Scrubs which basically means that starting next year you'll be able to watch the hilarious hospital comedy every freakin' day.
posted by Benyamin | 10:37 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Victomhood good, murderers bad

Gila Almagor, an Israeli actress currently in Malta filming Steven Spielberg's film about the masscare of Israeli atheletes at the 1972 Munich Olympic, says that the film (which opens on Christmas Day) will be good for the Jewish state. Wow, you think? Portraying a group as victims makes them look good? Whoa ... we never thought of that. Bet the producers of Hotel Rwanda wish they knew that.
posted by Benyamin | 10:23 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, July 11, 2005
Best reference to a Hasid

"During the glorious summer and fall of 2004, when NY Confidential was grossing an average of $25,000 a night at its 5,000-square-foot loft at 79 Worth Street, spitting distance from the municipal courts and Bloomberg’s priggish City Hall, Jason would have purchased a diamond with enough carats to blow the eye loupe off a 47th Street Hasid." -- From "The $2,000 an-Hour Woman," a comprehensive look at the prostitution empire of the now-imprisoned member of the tribe Jason Itzler.
posted by Benyamin | 12:04 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Cruise control
It's no secret that Tom Cruise is raising his children to be good Scientologists, but now comes word that he's trying to brainwash them to turn against their mother, Nicole Kidman. From the New York Post:
"Scientologists hook up children to their goofy "e-meter" devices, which are used to "interrogate" them. The site claims that the kids are urged to denounce "non-believers" in their own families who are branded as "suppressive persons" if they object to the child's conversion to Scientology."
posted by Benyamin | 11:54 AM | Link | (0) comments |
The pen is mightier than the sword ... or something like that
Rumor has it that Madonna had her rabbi ghostwrite her Kabalah-themed children's books. C'mon, how hard is it to write a kid's book?
posted by Benyamin | 11:19 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Princess, shmincess
This is why we can't catch any sleeper Al Qaeda cells in our country. Our police are too busy stopping Natalie Portman because they think she's a terrorist.
posted by Benyamin | 11:11 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Crossing over

Jewish comedian David Cross, who graced a recent cover of our magazine, has purchased the famed Lower East Side rock venue Eleven. The New York Post reports that Cross will revamp the place as well as change its name. Guess FOX's decision to pick up Arrested Development for another season was a boon to Cross' bank account.
posted by Benyamin | 10:49 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
The AJL culture awards


The nine most remarkable things in Jewish culture this month:

1) Most prolific Jewish actress: Maggie Gyllenhaal, the star of the controversial 2002 film Secretary, will hit the big screen three times in the coming months with Happy Endings, The Great New Wonderful, and Some Kind of Heaven.

2) Best revelation: A Georgia-based nonprofit called GodSpeaks Inc., which erects billboards containing wry messages from “God,” is trying to trademark the phrase: “As my apprentice, you’re never fired -- God.” Donald Trump, who has been trying without success to trademark “You’re fired,” said he’d have his lawyers look into it. But he conceded: “There is no higher authority than God.”

3) Best reason to subscribe to HBO: To watch the new season of Entourage starring Jewish actor Jeremy Piven as Hollywood’s most cunning agent.

4) Best Jewish rappers: The Ju Tang Clan. Go to their Web site, www.jutangclan.com, to listen to their pure genius. Choice track: Schindler’s Fist.

5) Best admission: “That was what I call silly money. No one deserves a million dollars a week for anything. Really.” -- Actor David Schwimmer on his paycheck for his role on the hit sitcom Friends.

6) Best reason to keep your doors locked: “We didn’t have the money for a Passover seder when I was a kid, so our family would show up to relatives’ homes unannounced. We were seder crashers.” -- Actor Jerry Stiller in Esquire magazine.

7) Best reason to own a DVD player: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is finally available at Blockbuster.

To find out numbers 8 and 9, pick up a copy of our current issue at one of these fine locations or, if you live outisde of Georgia, subscribe to the magazine. It's only 12 bucks a year. That's the equivalent of one really big coffee at Starbucks.
posted by Benyamin | 4:34 PM | Link | (0) comments |
The son also rises
Tacking on an "and son" to a family business is many a dad's dream. But Jakob Dylan, son of legendary Jewish rocker Bob Dylan, has spent his whole life running away from the family moniker.

A famous father can be a tough act to follow. Second-generation careers can be painful; just look at our president. But Jakob Dylan, who got his start playing the Kibbitz Room of Canter's Deli in Los Angeles, is doing pretty well for himself. His band, the Wallflowers, suppressed the son-of-Bob-Dylan media barrage with 1996's multi-platinum album Bringing Down the Horse. The disc included the hit "One Headlight" that won Grammys for best rock song and performance. And the upward momentum is continuing with the release of their new CD entitled Rebel Sweetheart.

"When I was a kid, he was a god to me for all the right reasons," says the 35-year-old Dylan of his famous father. "Other people have put that tag on him in some otherworldy sense. I say it as any kid who admired his dad and had a great relationship with him."
posted by Benyamin | 1:53 PM | Link | (0) comments |
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