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Praising Allah, not the punchline
 Dave Chappelle's mental state has, to his utter dismay, been the talk of the town as of late. Rumors swirled as the new season of Comedy Central's top-rated Chappelle's Show was continually put on hiatus. Was Chappelle burnt out from all the pressure? What was he doing in South Africa?
Now comes word that the irreverent Chappelle, who has become a practicing Muslim, is having trouble coming to grips with his newfound faith and the racy issues he's used to covering in his show.
Our advice to Chappelle: Your religion doesn't have to be a burden to your comedy. Just look at your fellow Comedy Central host Jon Stewart. He's big nose proud.
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| Wednesday, May 25, 2005 |
Sweet duet
Matisyahu, the self-proclaimed Hassidic reggae superstar, is teaming up with rockers P.O.D. for his sophomore album, due out this fall. In the same article, Matisyahu is asked if he's receiving any flack from his co-religionists in Brooklyn. "Not so much," he responded. "The message of the Lubavitch movement is to go out and take your talents and use music and radio and TV and try and make a good impact on the world, and not to retreat." Could the Lubavitch Martha Stewart be far behind?
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Bush's bracelet
Rumor has it that before her trip to the Holy Land Laura Bush's advance team bought those infamous red Kabbalah bracelets for good luck. Yes, we all know they worked wonders on Britney Spears' career.
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| Tuesday, May 24, 2005 |
Hair supply
 There was something in the news today about embattled music mogul and member of the tribe Phil Spector who's currently on trial for murder ... but all we can look at is that unbelievable hair.
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Average Jew Millionaire
So, nu, why can't you find a nice Jewish boy? Ah, the voice of your bubbe on your favorite blog. But your bubbe's wishes may finally be coming true. An Israeli reality show aptly titled A Nice Jewish Boy is searching the Diaspora for an attractive and "financially secure" man to spend the summer in Israel with 15 hot Israeli women. Huh, sounds a bit like a Birthright Israel trip to us.
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The Terminator vs. Judge Dredd
Caleeefornia Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger thinks that his one-time action rival Sylvester Stallone once tried to paint him to the public as a Nazi sympathizer. Although, to be fair, Schwarzenegger does blames himself for the image bashing because he admits to starting the feud it when he made fun of Rocky in a 1988 Playboy magazine article. If everyone that ever made fun of Rocky was in for a toungue lashing by Stallone, then he'd be one busy person.
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Queer eye for the Arab guy
Two gay Israeli men have installed a huge double bed in a New York art gallery and are inviting Arab men to become their "lover" as part of an exhibition called "Sleeping with the Enemy." Seriously.
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They said it
 Actor Rob Morrow in, of all places, O Magazine: "I had a pretty perfunctory Jewish upbringing and came to adulthood with a lot of questions about religion. A few years ago, Doug Rushkoff, author of Nothing Sacred, wrote an op-ed for the New York Times about Judaism that made me understand so much about the faith. We've since become friends, and he recommended this book to me. It traces the way humans have created divine narratives and how the beliefs inspired by those narratives have enabled us to survive. The book takes a lot of the mystery away, but it also helped me put the idea of God into perspective and made me think about my daughter, specifically how I'm going to help this person along in life."
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| Wednesday, May 18, 2005 |
Meat market
Apparently, the Glatt kosher Prime Grill restaurant in Manhattan is becoming the power lunch locale for those in the know. I took a date there once. The bill was more than $100, I got dumped, and -- unless I was in the bathroom at the time -- I had no power whatsoever.
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Biblical drama
ABC is reportedly spending $20 million on made-for-TV remake of The Ten Commandments. Scottish actor Dougray Scott (Mission: Impossible II) will fill Moses' sandals and Oscar-nominated Omar Sharif will play his father-in-law Yitro. In a bid for network synergy, ABC is considering having one of the Desperate Housewives play Moses' significant other.
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Madge's media frenzy
The New York Daily News reports on Madonna's upcoming Kabbalah-themed media blitz. Somewhere, we assume, the Zohar is rolling over in his mystic grave.
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You're fired!
Somebody got fired because they couldn't get their boss, the wife of Israeli Foreign Minister, an audience with the Kabbalah-crazed Madonna. Geez, talk about a diva.
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Chicken soup for Stewart's soul
Once again, congrats to Jon Stewart and the gang over at The Daily Show for winning yet another prestigious Peabody Award for excellence in journalism. Upon accepting his award, Stewart commented on the luncheon's food. The chicken with the noodles, he said, "shows a distinct liberal bias. I hope that next year the group will consider veal medallions and succotash, which I feel are more reflective of the traditional values of our country."
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| Friday, May 13, 2005 |
Mo muse
 Despite their similar Jewish heritage, actress Scarlett Johansson says she's not Woody Allen's muse. Of course she's not. She's way too old.
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The priest and the pop star
A judge sentenced Ho Kwon, a California Presbyterian minister to prison Thursday for trying to extort millions of dollars from Celine Dion's husband. Man, what seminary did he go to?
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'N(lip)-synch
Due to a recent throat operation, Justin Timberlake may lip synch when he performs at an upcoming bar mitzvah. Wait a second. Why is the fact he's lip synching the news peg? Isn't it more noteworthy that he's performing at a 13 year Jewish kid's birthday party?
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New Jew drinking game
Down a shot everytime you see a kippah in the trailer for the new comedy, Wedding Crashers, starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.
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Play right
If you're anywhere near Los Angeles, plan to stop by the 2nd Stage Theatre to see a performance of "The Book of Liz", a hilarious and irreverent look at the wacky world of the Amish written by the comedic sibling team of David and Amy Sedaris. The story revolves around the fictional town of Clusterhaven, a religious community that survives solely on special cheese balls made with a secret ingredient which only Sister Elizabeth Donderstock can provide. Sounds intriguing ... at least more than "Modern Orthodox".
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| Tuesday, May 10, 2005 |
Treasure chest
An existential question: Which is bigger -- Tori Spelling's breasts or her five carat diamond earrings? The answer, quite unbelievably, can be found here.
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Dead ringer
Anne Rice, whose bestselling vampire novels have compelled both Text goes hereTom Cruise and Brad Pitt to play the undead, will be trying to resurrect another dead man in her upcoming novel. Due out in November, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt Text goes herewill tell the story of Jesus' early years in his own words. If, as expected, the book breaks sales records, Rice has already begun working on a sequel: Christ the Lord: Revenge for the Passion.
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Goat jeez
Whew. Satan had nothing to do with a bunch of severed goat heads at a Vancouver school. C'mon people, move on. There's nothing to see here.
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| Monday, May 09, 2005 |
Stamping out Jewish heroes
Apparently, the venerable U.S. Postal Service doesn't know much about Jewish culture choosing to honor Jewish "icons" physicist Richard Feynman and lyricist E.Y. "Yip" Harburg instead of obvious choices like Albert Einstein, the Marx Brothers, Sandy Koufax, or even Alan Greenspan. Although if we were making decisions at the Post Office (which may not be such a bad thing) we may have chosen some Hebrew dignitatries who, for what it's worth, are more up our alley: Jon Stewart, Nikki Schieler, or A.J. Jacobs.
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Honor guard
In what portends to be a summer avalanche of Spielbergian honors, the uber Jewish director has just started the proverbial end-of-the-world fireball blazing.
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| Friday, May 06, 2005 |
We we
The film that got Natalie Portman Text goes herein trouble for filming a love scene at the Western Wall will be screened at the Cannes Film Festival in France. And people say the French are anti-Semetic.
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Low note
Apparently, some Israeli songs are just not what they seem.
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Hillary-haters and anti-disengagement gay Republicans?
The meta tags have since been changed, but not before Salon.com got the scoop on the cookie cutter quality of reclusive Republican slime-meister Arthur Finkelstein's latest attempt to derail Hillary Clinton's political aspirations, namely how they mirror a pre-existing Christian Zionist group against Sharon's disengagement plan.
To break it down:
- Arthur Finkelstein is the ultra-private and incredibly well-funded (and also gay married) Republican operative behind some of the slimiest political attacks in recent memory.
- Just after getting married to his longtime partner, he announced his personal campaign to stop Hillary Clinton's 2006 Senate re-election bid (and by extension her 2008 presidential hopes).
- He recently launched StopHerNow.com, the web face of his attempt to raise $10 million to, umm... stop her now.
- Eagle-eyed visitors noticed the meta tags for StopHerNow.com seemed odd: "Stop Her Now is a collaboration of over 7,600 independent Baptist churches in America, who are against the deportation of Jews from Gush Katif in Gaza and Northern Samaria." Say what?
- A quick search via Google revealed Yedidim of Israel, a site which looks remarkably similar to StopHerNow.com and includes the same meta tags.
StopHerNow.com has changed their meta tags, as far as I could see, but it does raise questions. Finkelstein has long-standing ties to right-wing Israeli causes, so this is not surprising in and of itself, but it seems quite lazy.
[IN ADDITION:] The animosity between Finkelstein and the Clintons extends to a rather disappointing episode where former President Bill Clinton called Finkelstein "sad" and "self-loathing" for essentially being a gay supporter of equal benefits and also being a dirty tricks Republican operative. Not that I don't see the irony and potential hypocrisy, but I don't know how I feel about Clinton playing the gay card (Finkelstein was outed by a magazine in Boston) and calling a Jew self-loathing for his politics. Read more here and here.
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| Tuesday, May 03, 2005 |
Jewish fantasia
 Bloggers whose universe revolves around Jewish celebrities had an orgasm this morning upon hearing news that Bob and Harvey Weinstein (both Jews, both formally of Miramax) are in negotiations with both Zach Braff and Amanda Peet (both Jewish)to star in the upcoming comedy Fast Track about the guilt of dealing with in-laws. The film will be directed by Jesse Peretz and executive produced by Jewish billionaire Mark Cuban. Ok, we'll clean up now.
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Comedy? Jewish? German?
Who knew Jewish comedy was alive and kicking in Germany? OK, so perhaps not alive and kicking, but apparently being revived thanks to Dani Levy's "Alles auf Zucker" (Go For Zucker: An Unorthodox Comedy).
The low budget indie flick made killer profits at the German box office and now it's short listed for their equivalent of the Oscars.
"There's a need to get over the guilt and shame that has kept Jewish life and Jewish people stuck in the 1940s in Germany today," said Levy, 47, a Swiss-born Jew. His mother fled Berlin and the Holocaust in 1939.
We agree, but even if we didn't, at least the boy's making bank.
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| Monday, May 02, 2005 |
Move over Kushner, you're not the only scandal in town
 By now, many of us have read about the turmoils and tribulations of Jack Abramoff the D.C. lobbyist and (ex) friend of embattled Tom DeLay. With each passing news cycle, comes fresh and startling information about the sordid business dealings of this Orthodox Jew. Newsweek recently reported that Abramoff, unethically siphend monies he had received from various Native American groups and, instead of directing the funds to Washington power brokers, Abramaoff donated the cash to an Israeli West Bank town to help arm Jewish settlers against Palestinians. As well, Newsweek reports, Abramoff directed more funds to the "Kollel Ohel Tiferet" in the Israeli outpost of Beitar Illit. As if that wasn't damning enough, yesterday the New York Times Magazine spent six whole pages profiling Abramoff and going into much more detail about his shady financial issues. Some highlights include: helping get Ralph Reed in trouble and starting and closing the Eshkol Academy, a Jewish day school in the outskirts of Baltimore, without paying many of the teachers. A class action lawsuit is now pending from those rabbis and teachers against Abramoff. With all the trouble he's in, that may be the least of his concerns.
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Hoping to cash in on the "Let's add the word Hassidic and make us hip" craze (see 
All hail 