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| Wednesday, March 30, 2005 |
Book cracks
Religious scholars have long found theological errors in the fictitious Da Vinci Code book. Now, apparently, some Australian officials have actually found crack there too.
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Cold Turkey
Sales of Hitler's Mein Kampf are soaring in the mostly Muslim country of Turkey. Hey, Turkey, have you heard about the crack in the Da Vinci Code?
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Foul play
A Scottish soccer player has opted not to have surgery for a knee injury and instead rely on the good grace of God to heal his wounds. Man, has this guy been hanging out with Mel Gibson?
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Jesus. Tonight after Joey.
In the wake of a post-Friends ratings slump, NBC is considering a sitcom starring a "contemporary, cool" Jesus figure who helps an Episcopal minister with his pill popping problems. Sounds like a real gut buster.
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Get Thee To A Nunnery
 Madonna hit off a London Purim party last week dressed as a nun, with beau Guy Ritchie in-tow playing the Pope. You'd think she'd have dressed up like her "Kabbalic" name-sake, Esther. Oh, but how cliche that'd have been. Oh so more cliche than a nun, obviously.
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Ashton Kutcherovich
Despite being a devout follower of Kabbalah, Ashton Kutcher was unable to impose his religious beliefs in his new flick Guess Who. Apparently, his character in the film was originally supposed to be Jewish, but those scenes were later cut out. In fact, rumor has it that the studio spent $100,000 to have Kutcher's Kabbalah red string bracelet removed from every scene. Although he will be dating the very Jewy Amanda Peet in his upcoming romantic comedy.
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| Friday, March 25, 2005 |
Directing traffic
Actor Zach Braff is really getting in the directing spirit. First the Scrubs star, who achieved critical acclaim last year with his directorial debut Garden State, directed a recent episode of the medical NBC dramedy. He's also working on a "Goonies style" feature film with his brother. Now comes word the Jewish thespian will be directing the next music video for pop star Gavin DeGraw. So, if he's so busy, how does he have time for girlfriend Mandy Moore?
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Strange bedfellows
HBO acquires the comapany that distributed The Passion. Maybe they'll have some synergy. We can just see Larry David and Jesus in a sequel.
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It's a bird...
Larry Bird was in Israel on a basketball recruiting mission. Either his Indiana Pacers really needs players or Bird just got lost on his way to the NCAA tournament.
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| Thursday, March 24, 2005 |
Seinfeld Sr. R.I.P.
Seinfeld's TV dad dies at age 82. No word yet on who will replace him as president of the Del Boca Vista condo community.
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| Friday, March 18, 2005 |
Disclosure
Is there a celebrity Kabbalah baby on the way? Demi Moore has redcently been denying rumors that she's preggers, although when asked boyfriend Ashton Kutcher told David Letterman, he didn't think Moore was pregnat although "we did have sex this week."
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Fat is phat
Leonard Nimoy, who created a big stink when he published his 2002 book of nude woman wearing nothing but a tallit and tefillin, wants to publish another book. But this one will contain nude photos of fat women. Nimoy will be focusing his lens on members of a heavyweight burlesque group, "The Fat Bottom Revue," who he says are "interested in fat liberation." And the search for Spock continues...
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| Thursday, March 17, 2005 |
The (Note)Book of Gideon
MTV News correspondent Gideon Yago is offering a reward for the return of his laptop computer, which was stolen from his New York apartment on Monday night. He did not mention any reward for helping revive his joke of a career.
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| Monday, March 14, 2005 |
The Contender
Chabad boxing phenom Dmitry Salita improved his record to 21-0 by defeating Canadian Darrelle Sukerow in a Junior Welterweight boxing match on Thursday night in New York City. "If anyone wants a whupping from me," Salita told New York Magazine, "they got to wait until after sundown."
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Fake news, real jail cell
Jon Stewart had to bail his wife, veterinary technician Tracey McShane, out of jail Thursday, after she was arrested in New York for driving with a suspended license. According to the Daily Show host's spokesman, "She wasn't speeding. But the police discovered that she had a suspended license. She didn't even realize it. She paid a ticket last week. But apparently her check hadn't been processed."
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| Thursday, March 10, 2005 |
Passion revisited
In case you missed it the first time around (or if you just want to revisit the good ol' times), Mel Gibson is releasing The Passion Recut in theaters.
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| Tuesday, March 08, 2005 |
I love you, Kabbalah
In what has to be one of the best Kabbalah endorsements ever, Britney Spears has posted her gratitude to the mystical cult on her Web site. "There came a point where not even my family or my advisors had the answers I needed," the newly married singer wrote. "The answers I was looking for were all in my heart. Through Kabbalah, I was able to look within myself, clear all the negative energy and turn my life around." Aw ... it almost wants to make you puke.
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| Thursday, March 03, 2005 |
Divine inspiration
Prosecutors say that Mel Gibson's stalker was breaking into the actor/director's home because God told him to go pray there. Ah yes ... when you have a religion where anyone can claim divine communication, you end up with freaks like this.
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| Wednesday, March 02, 2005 |
J. Lo low blow
Apparently, Jennifer Lopez is a fan of the Nazi party. We knew her music blew, but now we have another reason to despise the diva.
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