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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Seeing double
Seeing that his former flame has finally taken up that age-old habit we humans like to call eating, David Katzenberg is rumored to be wooing Mary-Kate Olsen. This after he cheated on her with two women. What a putz.
posted by Benyamin | 8:51 PM | Link | (1) comments |
Monday, November 29, 2004
Hotel Jesus
From Reuters:

A British hotel chain is offering couples called Mary and Joseph a free night's stay over Christmas.

"We are trying to make up for the hotel industry not having any rooms left on Christmas Eve 2004 years ago," said Sandy Leckie, manager of the Travelodge hotel in London's Covent Garden.

"Our hotel is definitely more comfortable than a stable. I just hope they don't bring their donkey," he said.
posted by Benyamin | 10:58 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Oh captain, my captain
MSNBC has declared member of the tribe William Shatner as the most overrated star in America. There are so many other stars who didn't even make the list -- Britney Spears, Tom Cruise, Will Smith -- that we don't see how it's humanely possible that Shatner topped this list unless it was compiled by an overgrown Trekkie.
posted by Benyamin | 10:53 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Sunday, November 28, 2004
The negotiator
Forget the Secretary of State. The guy who thinks he can do anything says to add one more thing to his resume: peace negotiator. Reality show tycoon Donald Trump told CNN's Larry King last week that, if asked by President Bush, he would serve as an American peace negotiator in the Middle East. Word is Bush will send Trump as soon as the Palestinians pick a leader so Trump can fire him.
posted by Benyamin | 4:33 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Overscene
Music producer Jermaine Dupri (aka Mr. Janet Jackson) was scene last week having lunch at the decidedly Jewish themed eatery Goldberg's Bagel Company and Deli in Atlanta where he lives.
posted by Benyamin | 4:31 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Basic instinct
Don't throw out your lifelong dream to become a member of the the clergy. Apparently, it's not that hard to achieve. Sharon Stone just became an ordained minister through a mail order course and, in fact, just officiated at her first wedding ceremony. And -- get this -- the two witnessed were Robert Wagner and Jack Nicholson. People, we're not making this stuff up.
posted by Benyamin | 10:53 AM | Link | (0) comments |
More Monica
Australia's Channel 9 is courting everyone's favorite intern Monica Lewinsky to be the subject of a reality show. We're assuming it's not Wife Swap.
posted by Benyamin | 10:42 AM | Link | (0) comments |
OmaGROSSa
Our sources have told us that NBC has just finished taping an episode of Fear Factor starring out of work former reality show stars -- including The Apprentice's vixen villain Omarosa, The Bachelor's firefighter Ryan, and the winner of Survivor: Africa (and member of the tribe) Ethan Zohn. The, um, celebrity episode will air during February sweeps.
posted by Benyamin | 9:53 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Weinstein redux
The controversial never-aired Family Guy "When you wish upon a Weinstein" episode -- which hilariously pokes fun at Jewish stereotypes -- will finally be seen. Sort of. You see, FOX never aired the episode before they canceled the cult series several years ago. But fans did get to see the episode in all of its glory as it was included on the Family Guy DVD -- and has also aired on Cartoon Network twice. So FOX's decision to finally air it -- on December 10th -- is not such a big deal, but it is definitely a step in the right direction.
posted by Benyamin | 11:47 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Madonna's movie
Madonna is hoping to turn her first children's Kabbalah book, The English Roses, into a major motion picture. The book follows the story of a Jewish girl named Binah. We hear Natalie Portman is available.
posted by Benyamin | 1:43 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, November 19, 2004
George W, the mystic?
On the heels of her recent rant about the war in Iraq, Madonna now has some more words of advice for President Bush: Study Kabbalah. The Material Girl told CNN that "it would be amazing" if George W. studied Jewish mysticism. We're not so sure his buddy Jesus would think so.
posted by Benyamin | 1:09 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Ali G's split personality
For those fans of Ali G who are wondering just how much longer the Jewish comedian can pull off these ridiculous stunts on unsuspecting subjects, have nor fear. There's news today that Sacha Baron Cohen is creating a new character: an Inspector Clouseau-like character named Charlie Mortdecai. Well, that's all well and good, but what we really want is all Borat all the time.
posted by Benyamin | 10:10 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Female circus freak wants to be chazzan
A bearded Bahraini woman tried to lead a Muslim prayer service, but was caught before she reached the pulpit. The 40-year-old woman identified as -- what else -- Fatima was later relased without any charges being filed against her. In a related story, someone at the Pardes Institute blew a gasket.
posted by Benyamin | 10:01 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Battle of the matzah bakeries
Hoping to piggyback on the success of the new Urban Shmatta line featuring the Manischewitz logo, a company called Elsewares is now hawking Streit's t-shirts. Well, actually just one t-shirt. It's an obvious ripoff and, to be perfectly frank, the Manishewitz products look a lot cooler.
posted by Benyamin | 4:18 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Royal treatment
Kabbalah cult officials can put another notch on their celebrity belt. Kabbalah devotee Demi Moore arranged for a recent meeting with David Koresh, er, we mean Rabbi Michael Berg and Sarah Ferguson, also known as the Duchess of York and the Weight Watchers spokesperson, and now Fergie is hooked. "She's not declaring herself a Kabbalist," says the Duchess' spokesman. "But she has a lot of interest in spirituality, and she does have friends who are followers of Kabbalah and she's interested in it and she's pursuing that interest." Since fellow Kabbalah devotee Madonna is known as the Queen of Pop, all they need is one more person to make it a royal flush.
posted by Benyamin | 10:05 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
A passion for the Passion
In what has to be some disturbing news, the Hollywood Reporter has declared Mel Gibson their "Innovator of the Year". Randall Wallace, who wrote the screenplay to Braveheart and directed Gibson in 2002's We Were Soldiers, understands the controversial decision. "He has not surrendered his soul to the idolatry of Hollywood," Wallace says of his friend. "Even now, to be treated as the devil incarnate or as a saint -- neither is treating him as Mel Gibson the person. The surprise is how difficult it is to have your humanity and integrity survive both the idolatry and the hatred, and he has survived both." In other Gibson related news, ABC has decided to order nine more episodes of Gibson's family-themed sitcom Complete Savages. We're thinking that's also a good title for a Passion of the Christ sequel.
posted by Benyamin | 10:58 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Drag dressing divinity
Kabbalah Centre chief honcho Rabbi Michael Berg is not the only author in the family. His mother Karen is penning a book called God Wears Lipstick. While we don't think it's full of divine makeup advice, it'll probably make tons of money for the cult, er, Centre -- especially since they'll presumedly sell it for $99.99 with any purchase of $25 bottle of Kabbalah water.
posted by Benyamin | 9:59 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, November 15, 2004
Double trouble
Forget Evan and Jaron. Forget those Nelson brothers also. The most newsworthy twins these days were born last week in a Gaza hospital. Their names? Yasser and Arafat. Indeed, Palestinian doctors are reporting that many people are choosing those names. "One Arafat dies and a thousand will arise," said one medic. Yes, but who will lead them?
posted by Benyamin | 2:40 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Mourning Mormons
After years of being given away by any Mormon who knocks on your door during dinner or right when your home team is about to make a miraculous comeback in the fourth quarter, the Mormon Bible is now getting a mainstream overhaul -- and it's going to cost you. Word came down from on high this week that Doubleday Books will be publishing a version of the Mormon Bible and will be charging $24.95. Some Mormon officials are furious at the idea that someone will have to pay for the heretofore free Bible. Um ... have they ever seen the Artscroll catalog? A free market economy has been forcing us to pay for our religion's beloved books for years.
posted by Benyamin | 2:00 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, November 12, 2004
A Playboy punim
Fired Apprentice wannabe Jennifer Crisafulli -- who, you'll recall got booted off the show because of an apparent anti-Semitic remark -- was overheard telling friends that she may be posing for Playboy. Ah, don't you just love teshuvah?
posted by Benyamin | 1:20 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Rat pack
This is why we love Brett Ratner. At a New York party celebrating the release of the director's new flick After the Sunset, he somehow got talking about his wild ways as a child. "My nickname was Rat," he said. "I was a cross between Ferris Bueller and Matt Dillon in The Flamingo Kid. The opening scene will be my bar mitzvah. I got a lot of cash -- my pockets were full of it. At the end of the night, I got the penthouse and I had four of my friends up there and all the cash was laid out on the bed, and all of sudden the door kicks in and it's three strippers and I'm giving the strippers all my bar mitzvah money!"
posted by Benyamin | 11:01 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
No school zone
Apparently, Catholic school girls don't care for lip-syncher Ashlee Simpson. What? Did somebody say something about a Catholic School girl. Sorry, our ADD is really acting up today.
posted by Benyamin | 1:22 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Who wants to be a millionaire ... or die?
Chuck Barris, credited as the founding father of reality television, is predicting that eventually somebody will tire of the genre -- literally. "I think that eventually, people will kill somebody," says Barris, the man behind The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game, and The Gong Show. "The next thing I think would happen would be a creator, some new guy coming along and saying, 'Here's a show idea: The winner gets to answer a question. If they get that question right, they win $100 million. But if they don't, they have to get killed - on television." Sad ... but the truth is we'd watch it.
posted by Benyamin | 1:08 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Portman loves Israel .. and Islam?
Natalie Portman is in the Holy Land reportedly taking some classes on Islamic history and civilization at Hebrew University where, the Jerusalem Post oddly reports that Portman "wears less make-up than probably 80 percent of Israeli girls." The Harvard grad and staunch Israel supporter will be traveling back and forth to the States to promote her new movie Closer in which she plays a stripper. Ah, a stripper ... oh, sorry, did somebody say something about her being in Israel?
posted by Benyamin | 11:54 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Roseanne's slaughter
Roseanne was set to make her TV comeback in a recurring role on CBS' Two and a Half Men (that's the one with Charlie Sheen for those of you who don't watch), but she bailed at the last minute when the show's writers crafted her character as a parody of the real Roseanne. Camryn Manheim was her zaftig replacement and, ironically, stars in this week's episode called "A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana".
posted by Benyamin | 11:42 AM | Link | (0) comments |
You're out
In a recent interview, convert to Judaism Clubhouse Mare Winningham told of her busy schedule and how she doesn't like to work on Friday nights. Well, it seems she'll have a lot more time on her hands to light those Shabbat candles now that CBS has yanked the freshman baseball drama from itslineup due to lackluster ratings, making it one of the first casualties of the new fall season.
posted by Benyamin | 10:29 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Rock of ages
A U.S. court of appeals upheld a ruling this week stating that it was AOK for the Beastie Boys to sample (not steal) six seconds of a 1978 jazz tune on their 1992 CD. We're glad to see that the wheels of justice are, um, slowly grinding.
posted by Benyamin | 10:25 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Madonna's back with new book
Madonna has just released the fourth of five Kabbalah themed books. The latest, relased this week and called The Adventures of Abdi, is about a boy who encounters adventure and peril on his way to deliver a precious necklace to a queen. The Kabbalah connection? The book teaches the age-old Jewish precept of "Gam zu l'tovah -- This too is for the best." While that's got nothing to do with Kabbalah, it's ok. We Jews will take whatever Madonna related publicity we can get.
posted by Benyamin | 4:54 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Twas the night before Mom became frum
While Madonna may be a Kabbalah devotee, it appaers that her daughter may still be Catholic. Lourdes Leon, the eight-year-old spawn of Madonna, has penned a Christmas story for a collection of Yuletide fables being published by celebs to help raise money to fight cancer. Well, at least it's for a good cause.
posted by Benyamin | 4:51 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Sunday, November 07, 2004
The wedding planner
Star magazine is reporting that Madonna is trying to talk her Kabbalah buddy Demi Moore into getting married and has said that she will help plan the event. She has also said that she will talk to the Kabbalah Centre's Rabbi Berg about conducting the ceremony. We can only assume that the Centre will be selling tickets to the wedding at exorbitant prices.
posted by Benyamin | 6:23 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Friday, November 05, 2004
Seizing the opportunity
Jewish rapper Etan G will finally have his dream come true -- and all of America will be watching. Etan will be featured on the Discovery Channel's new series NOW: No Opportunity Wasted, a reality show which gives contestants 72 hours and $3,000 to fulfill their dreams. Etan G was chosen and was given the time and cash to make a professional music video. On the second day of filming, Etan's wife Marcel went into labor (she produced Mini G). Etan rushed back and forth between the shoot and the delivery room and, we're told, it all worked out great. See for yourself this Thursday night at 8 PM.
posted by Benyamin | 10:59 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Jamie-Lynn revives career
Could Jamie-Lynn DiScala become the next Sarah Jessica Parker? The Jewish actress, most famous for her role as Tony Sopranos screwed up daughter, is working on a project with UPN for a show about a single career woman in New York. The show would be based on the popular site Vivianlives.com, a sort of daily journal which tracks the life of a Sex and the City style character. Sounds good to us ... hey, does this mean she won't be making the sequel to Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss?
posted by Benyamin | 10:47 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Family man
Former youth minister Joe Simpson, aka the guy who's semen gave us both Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, is being accused of leaving God in the dust as he manages the pop culture careers of his two daughters. Upon hearing about the accusations, the Kabbalah Centre called Joe and said, "Come over to our side where there is no distinction between spirituality and scank."
posted by Benyamin | 4:07 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
One night in Persia
Thanks to Nextbook.org for alerting us to the currently-filming production of One Night with the King, a cinematic retelling of the story of Esther reteaming Lawrence of Arabia stars Omar Sharif (who will play Prince Memucan) and Peter O'Toole (who will portray the prophet Samuel -- didn't realize he was a big part of the Purim story). The $16 million film, which is being shot in northwest India, also reteams two stars of The Lord of the Ring trilogy -- John Rhys-Davies as Mordechai and John Noble as Prince Admantha. Newcomer Tiffany Dupont, who's most notable previous role was as "Drive-Thru Girl/Barbie" in an October 2003 episode of Joan of Arcadia, will play the lead role of Esther. The film is set to be released on March 25, 2005 which also happens to coincide with Purim.
posted by Benyamin | 10:23 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Passion of the Maccabees
We reported to you months ago that Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ follow-up would be a film about the Maccabees. Now comes word that Gibson may be buying the rights to My Glorious Brothers, a book about Chanukah's band of brothers by Howard Fast. Although Fast has passed and his literary estate lies in the hands of an agent, Fast's widow told the New York Daily News that she spoke to her Jewish friends about the idea. "I spoke to [ADL Director] Abe Foxman about it. He said he'd feel more comfortable putting it the hands of Mr. [Harvey] Weinstein than Mr. Gibson."

Great, now Foxman wants to extend his dominion over who gets to produce movies? Earth to Abe: You're a pompous self-absorbed ass. Stop embrassing Jews all the time. You're not helping.
posted by Benyamin | 9:44 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Donna Karan, book promoter
Designer Donna Karan will be hawking more than just trendy clothing at her Madison Avenue storefront. On November 10th, she'll be hosting a book release party for Kabbalah leader Michael Berg's new tome.
posted by Benyamin | 9:39 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, November 01, 2004
Declare yourself
If you're looking for someone to convince you to vote tomorrow, try Jewish comedians Larry David, David Cross, and Sarah Silverman.
posted by Benyamin | 3:04 PM | Link | (0) comments |
B-listers collide at Kabbalah Centre
This just in: Lucy Liu, Soleil "Punky Brewster" Moon Frye, and Britney Spears older brother Brian were all seen attending classes at the Beverly Hills Kabbalah Centre -- at the same time. Somewhere, we assume, the space/time continuum is all screwed up now.
posted by Benyamin | 2:25 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Yet another reason to start that 'I heart Chabon' blog
Literary goldenboy Michael Chabon (The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay) has been tapped by Disney to pen a martial arts version of the Snow White classic. Chabon, who also wrote the Spider-Man 2 screenplay has now officially paased Elijah Wood on the nerd scale of male crushes.
posted by Benyamin | 1:14 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Pigging out
Next month 39-year-old Jermey Piven will be straying from his Jewish roots and going porcine. Sort of. From December 16 through January 15 the Entourage star will be making his Broadway debut in Neil LaBute's "Fat Pig" about a guy who falls in love with an overweight woman. Think Shallow Hal without Tony Robbins.
posted by Benyamin | 11:53 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Everybody loves Brad
When Everybody Loves Raymond signs off at the end of this season actor Brad Garrett, contrary to many fans' wishes, will not be doing a spin-off show. Instead, he'll probably be doing something with HBO. "It's in the very early stages, so in four months you could see it on 'Animal Planet' as a puppet show," Garrett joked.
posted by Benyamin | 11:51 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Nerd nation
Judd Apatow, probably most famous for bringing us Freaks and Geeks, is set to make his directorial debut with the film The 40 Year-Old Virgin for Universal studios. Guess he's not straying too much from the topic of geek culture.
posted by Benyamin | 11:46 AM | Link | (0) comments |
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