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Thursday, July 29, 2004
On target
Thanks to Jmerica for telling us that Target is now selling Kabbalistic red strings. What next? Martha Stewart towels at K-Mart. Oh wait ... they already do that.
posted by Benyamin | 11:04 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tel Aviv ... romantic setting for wedding?
Riding the Kabbalah wedding bandwagon, reports came out of Israel yesterday that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher would wed in a Kabbalah ceremony in Tel Aviv in September. The couple reportedly will be in the Holy Land as part of Madonna's Rosh Hashanah trip to Israel.
posted by Benyamin | 10:22 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Hell hath no fury
Reuters reports:

Economists searching for reasons why some nations are richer than others have found that those with a wide belief in hell are less corrupt and more prosperous, according to a report by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis.


What the hell?
posted by Benyamin | 1:12 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Vote Springer ... and watch two lesbians duke it out
Jerry Springer is enjoying his time as an official delegate from Ohio at this week's Demcratic National Convention. The talk show king and former mayor is also considering running for governor of Ohio in 2006. "I spend six hours a week on the show, this is what I really do in life," he said. "People are understanding there's a political part of me." I wonder why people would underestimate him.
posted by Benyamin | 12:48 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Jackie Mason to undergo foot in mouth surgery
Jewish comedian Jackie Mason has put his footh in is mouth once again. While appearing on a recent radio show, the borscht-belter said about Islam: "Everyone thinks that it's a legitimate religion that preaches love and brotherhood. . . . In plain English, the whole Muslim religion is preaching and teaching hate, terrorism and murder. . . . I don't know how we can call it a religion in the traditional sense. It should be called a murderous organization that's out to kill people." Now, in comparison, his snide remark about Polish people last November, doesn't seem so harsh. And you wonder why there's anti-Semitism.
posted by Benyamin | 12:33 PM | Link | (1) comments |
Kabbalah on comission
This classified ad appeared in yesterday's Wall Street Journal:

Executive Assistant to the President: $70K Salary + Bonus / 1st year potential $100K for one of the world's fastest growing spiritual movements KABBALAH - report to senior mgt. Liaison with worldwide offices - Must be a hardworking, shirt sleeve person, spiritually oriented, positive attitude, MBA. Min 10 years executive experience - hiring immediately. Fax resume (866) 524-4494.


Report to senior management ... would that be Madonna or Britney?
posted by Benyamin | 11:53 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Mr. Big goes to Israel, the saga continues
This just in: Chris Noth can swim.
posted by Benyamin | 10:50 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monica looks to food for solace
Everyone's favorite Jewish intern was spotted at a New York restaurant celebrating her 31st birthday with her aunt. She ordered a foot-long hot dog for the occasion. We know, we know ... there's a hot dog/penis/cigar joke in there somewhere.
posted by Benyamin | 10:19 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Domain game
German neo-Nazis who want to surf the Web looking for Nazi propoganda are about to get a little surprise. When they surf over to www.siegheil.de, which was named after the Nazi salute, they will no longer find the anti-Semitic tirades that used to be posted there. At the request of an Internet watchdog group, Germany's central registration authority for Web addresses has handed the domain over to www.shoa.de, a Holocaust education site to help teach the neo-Nazis about the genocide they caused. Now if only the U.S. government could snag www.whitehouse.com away from those porn people.
posted by Benyamin | 10:02 AM | Link | (0) comments |
MSNBC learns halacha
MSNBC reports today what we've already known for thousands of years: Tattoos are taboo in Judaism.
posted by Benyamin | 9:46 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, July 26, 2004
Brando's bris
The New York Post reports that of all the wacky rumors to surface after the recent death of acting great Marlon Brando, the oddest of all has to do with him joining the tribe. At the age of 60, the paper reports, Brando circumcised himself and converted to Judaism. Ouch. That's gotta hurt.
posted by Benyamin | 11:35 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Brit's mystical wedding
As we reported to you back in June, Britney Spears hired a Jewish wedding planner to help her with her November nuptials to Kevin Federline. Now comes word that Britney may want to say "I do" under a chupah and have a Kabbalah-themed ceremony. "There's some resistance from her family, who are devout Baptists," says a source. "But maybe there's a way to incorporate elements from both faiths, and make everyone happy." Yes, maybe there's a way to wrap a red string arond Jesus' wrist.
posted by Benyamin | 10:39 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Sharon's basic instinct
Sharon Stone, Jewish? Well, that may be asking a little much of the beauty gods on high, but the Catwoman vixen is considering herself somewhat Jewy these days. She told the women of The View that she feels so neurotic that she knows what it must feel like to be Jewish. Well, at least it wasn't some weird Kabbalah connection.
posted by Benyamin | 2:18 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Wonder what Lindsay is in Hebrew
For the love of all things sacred ... could it really be? Defamer reports that the latest celeb sporting a red string Kabbalah bracelet is none other than Lindsay Lohan. Add that to Britney, Madonna, Paris Hilton, Demi Moore, Sandra Bernhard, Naomi Campbell, Stella McCartney, Ashton Kutcher, and Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and you've got yourself one fine lookin' minyan. And Barbra Streisand can be the chazzan.
posted by Benyamin | 11:42 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Birth of a salesman
Jewsweek is seeking competent part-time sales reps to sell advertising space on Jewsweek. The position is commission-only. If you're interested and feel up to the task, send us an e-mail at editor@jewsweek.com.
posted by Benyamin | 9:45 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Horse and buggy invade Moesha network
Those of you who are dying to see Amish in the City are just going to have to wait ... until the show debuts next Wednesday on UPN. Despite several requests by politicians and affiliate stations, UPN has refused to show anyone the show until it airs. The reality series chronicles a group of young Amish men and women ages 18-24 as they first encounter the modern world. We're definetly planning on TIVOing the Amish show, but what we'd really like to see is a hybrid between that and the Simple Life. Paris Hilton and an Amish boy? Now that's compelling television.
posted by Benyamin | 11:22 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Einstein's bank account
Thanks to our friends over at Jewschool for pointing us to this story about Albert Einstein. The Economic Times reports that Hebrew University, who now owns the rights to the scientist's name and image, only sell the opportunity when they deem it appropriate. Case in point, the article notes, "Singing sensation Madonna was refused to use Einsteinís image in a concert performance, as the university thought it was not in keeping with the preservation of his legacy, despite the potential royalties of thousands of dollars ... However, a request by director Steven Spielberg to use Einstein's image for a few seconds in AI: Artificial Intelligence was permitted for $600,000 in royalties ... In another case, Pepsi was allowed to use the most famous Jew's image in its commercials, but a liquor company that wished to launch a vodka named 'Einstein' was refused permission to use the name." Seems even in death, he's a smart man.
posted by Benyamin | 11:12 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Stay tuned
Air America radio may not be a household name just yet, but they're working on it. Despite a somewhat rocky beginning when it started broadcasting on March 31st, Air America now claims 17 stations nationwide, plus a presence on the XM and Sirius satellite radio networks. And now listeners in New York have given the station its ultimate vote of confidence -- good ratings. The station's flagship show The O'Franken Factor hosted by Jewish satirist Al Franken surged past conservative nemesis Bill O'Reilly in the first quarterly matchup between the two in the Big Apple. We're told O'Reilly has his head up his ass working on a way to spin this story to his advantage.
posted by Benyamin | 10:44 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Oy vey
The UK's Sun newspaper is reporting that Kabbalah enthusiast Madonna has taken up singing in Yiddish. According to the paper, Madge performed two Yiddish songs in front of about 50 guests at the home of her rabbi, Phillip Berg, while in New York recently. What's "like a virgin" in Yiddish?
posted by Benyamin | 4:00 PM | Link | (0) comments |
This just in
The Television Critics Association awarded The Daily Show with Jon Stewart the award for best news and information program. In a taped acceptance speech, the Jewish host reminded them that "we're fake!"
posted by Benyamin | 1:55 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Warning: Japs ahead
Local officials in Beaumont, Texas caved into growing pressure this week when they decided to rename "Jap Road". The street, which actually was named thus to honor a Japanese family, has been deemed as racist by the town's Japanese residents. Needless to say, resident Jason Marshburn wasn't too happy with the decision. "It feels like we're in the middle of a George Orwell novel. It's like me suing Keebler or Nabisco because the word 'cracker' is offensive to us white people," he said. The other Japs -- the Jewish American Princesses -- were either (a) at the mall or (b) don't live anywhere near Beaumont, Texas and therefore could not be reached for comment.
posted by Benyamin | 1:38 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, July 19, 2004
Dude, let my people go
Variety reports:

Val Kilmer has been cast as Moses in the upcoming stage musical "The Ten Commandments," set to open Sept. 27 at Hollywood's Kodak Theater. It won't be the actor's first stab at the biblical character. Kilmer gave voice to -- and sang -- Moses in DreamWorks' The Prince of Egypt.
posted by Benyamin | 4:05 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Will the real Bob Weinstein please stand up?
In what has to be the strangest story we've heard today, a Jewish Atlanta man named Bob Weinstein is posing as the real Bob Weinstein, the co-founder of Miramax with his brother Harvey. He's reportedly been telling people that he's "been exiled by brother Harvey when he came out of the closet a few years back. He claimed to be sitting out a noncompete clause in Atlanta with a lover and an adopted son (age 28). He drove a Lexus, spoke of artistic differences with Disney, and confessed that Quentin Tarantino, though a genius, was a real diva on-set." A spokeswoman for the real Bob Weinstein (who, for the record, is married with two children) says, "We're taking the matter seriously and considering our options."
posted by Benyamin | 3:23 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Pulp fiction
Ever wish you knew all the juicy details of John Travolta's personal life? Well, you're in luck. There are reports that the Welcome Back, Kotter star will write an autobiography and it will most probably detail Travolta's Scientology fascination. That's good ... maybe Madonna will read it.
posted by Benyamin | 3:05 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Rabbinic advice for Martha
Rabbi Steven Z. Leder, a Los Angeles pulpit rabbi, offers up
this advice for the Martha Stewart: "To me as a rabbi, the real healing, what Jews call teshuva, repentance, comes first from accepting what you've done and taking steps to assure that it's never repeated, and then changing your life in a way that supports better values. I haven't heard her say, 'I'm going to give 100 times that amount to charity.' If I were her spiritual adviser, those would be the steps that I'd advise her to take."
posted by Benyamin | 12:34 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Mr. Big goes to Israel
Just received word from our celeb watchers in Israel that Chris Noth, he of "Mr. Big" fame, will be going on a peacekeeping mission to the holy land next week. The trip for the single and catholic actor is reportedly sponsored by the Israel Tourism Ministry as part of a larger effort to show that Israel is a fun, safe, and sexy place to be.
posted by Benyamin | 2:43 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
The passion of the bible
Word is that Pramount Pictures is contemplating making a remake of the greatest story ever told -- The Ten Commandments. Who will play Charlton Heston, er, Moses?
posted by Benyamin | 4:26 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Da Jews in our da house
Thanks to our friends over at Jewschool for telling us about this news clip about Jewish and Muslim hip hop artists joining together. It's a fun few minutes of television.
posted by Benyamin | 3:44 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Jesus is my homeboy
Mel Gibson has tapped rap/heavy Christian rockers P.O.D. to draft a song for the upcoming Passion of the Christ soundtrack to be simultaneously released with the film's DVD next month. The irony of P.O.D. -- which stands for Payable On Death -- contributing to the soundtrack was lost on no one.
posted by Benyamin | 9:55 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Friends' "ugly naked guy" finally shows his face
In search of crazy naked men? Forget JDate. Try your local synagogue. Police were called to Pittsburgh's Temple Sinai after a wet naked man locked himself in the women's bathroom claiming he was "waiting to catch his rocket ship." The episode took place around 6:30 in the morning which could only mean one thing -- he was early for davening. Oh ... wait ... according to their Web site it doesn't look like this Reform congregation actually holds morning services. Not sure which part of this story is more disturbing.
posted by Benyamin | 2:10 PM | Link | (0) comments |
The kosher knockout
Thanks to Jewschool for letting us know about reports that Eminem's next movie role will be portraying Jewish boxer Dmitry Salita. With all that's going on, we wonder if the Fox network will be ripping off the idea any time soon.
posted by Benyamin | 9:35 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, July 12, 2004
David Daor's Shrek bris
It appears that Israeli audiences won't be seeing much of Shrek 2 anytime soon. In the Hebrew re-dubbing of the family film, one character says to another in reference to castration, "Let's do a David Daor on him," a reference to an Israel singer with a high-pitched voice. "This film intends to present me, in perpetuity, as a eunuch, a man with no testicles, and turn me into a laughing stock," says Daor. And on Monday, a Tel Aviv District Court judge agreed with him by ruling that the film be yanked from Israeli theaters until it was redubbed. And now, Ha'aretz is reporting that film has been re-dubbed to simply say "Let's take a sword and castrate him." Daor's manhood still couldn't be found for comment.
posted by Benyamin | 2:59 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Somebody was sick of Madonna
Ok, we did it. We finally found a Madonna story that has absolutely nothing to do with Kabbalah. In now public letters and memos, the late director John Schlesinger blames the Material Girl for his 1999 heart attack. At the time, he was directing her in the romantic comedy The Next Best Thing. "I am f---ing angry with [producer] Tom being influenced by Madonna," Schlesinger wrote from his hospital bed. "I do not for one moment think that their behavior has not added to the reasons I have ended up here." The Kabbalah Centre could not be reached for comment.
posted by Benyamin | 2:33 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Vote Franken
Page Six reports that Jewish starist liberal radio talk show host Al Franken is "really serious" about making a run for senator in his home state of Minnesota. Wonder if he'll be part of a Republican ticket...
posted by Benyamin | 2:13 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Shalom Harlow
We can all say Shalom to Shalom Harlow, the Jewish actress who was part of the ensemble cast of Fox's The Jury. After disappointing ratings, Fox has stopped production on the courtroom drama after just 10 episodes. Like we needed another courtroom drama anyway.
posted by Benyamin | 11:03 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Keystone cops ... Yiddish style
When you think of Michael Chabon you usually think of comics. The award-winning Jewish author first gained praise for his work the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, a story about the Jewish beginnings of the comic book industry. This summer he's gaining more praise for his screenwriting work on the blockbuster Spider-Man 2. But for his next work, reports Entertainment Weekly, Chabon is straying a bit from his comic book roots. He's currently finishing up a "mystery-thriller with a twist" called The Yiddish Policemen's Union. "It's set in an alternate universe," Chabon tells the magazine, "where instead of there being a Hebrew-speaking Jewish nationalist state in the Middle East, there's a Yiddish speaking Jewish state in Alaska." Well, that's original.
posted by Benyamin | 10:31 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Stand-up comic
Marvel Comics head Avi Arad must be one happy man. His new film, Spider Man 2, broke box office records with the highest grossing opening weekend of all time, and he's not resting there. The Israeli-born Arad, who displays vintage Hebrew comic books in his office, is dusting off the treasure trove of superheroes in the Marvel canon for upcoming film remakes including Elektra, the Fantastic Four, and more installments of Blade, X-Men, and, of course, that cash cow known as Spider-Man.
posted by Benyamin | 1:46 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Good news/bad news
Here's the good news for Hollywood uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer: His reality show The Amazing Race returned this month for its fifth season and is a darling among the critics and won the first-ever Emmy for reality television. Now, the bad news: The Bruckheimer-produced King Arthur is getting horrible reviews across the board. Maybe he'll have better luck with his next project, a C.S.I. spin-off which takes place in New York and debuts this fall on CBS.
posted by Benyamin | 1:07 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Kallah maidle
Mazal tov to Beverly Hills 90210 alum Tori Spelling who got married over the July 4th holiday weekend. She married actor-writer Charlie Shanian who, from this point forward, will now be known only as Mr. Tori Spelling. We're still waiting for our thank-you note for the present we got her.
posted by Benyamin | 1:01 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Baruch dayan haemet
Our condolences to born-again Jew Kirk Douglas on the death of his 46-year-old son Eric Douglas. Eric, the youngest son and brother to Michael, was found dead in a New York apartment building. In recent years, Eric had gotten in trouble wit the law for drug and alcohol related problems.
posted by Benyamin | 9:53 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
I'd like to thank my grandparents, my publicist...
Having celebs come to your bar/bat mitzvah isn't the most novel of concepts (some AOL bigwig once flew N'Sync to his daughter's bat mitzvah), but when we saw this news item, we figured we'd tell you about it anyway. Several celebs were spotted at the recent Toronto bat mitzvah of the daughter of Roots clothing tycoon Michael Budman including Anjelica Huston and Lorne Michaels. We're told the bat mitzvah photographer sold his photos to the National Enquirer.
posted by Benyamin | 1:53 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Divorce court
The most powerful Jew in Hollywood (who lives in New York), Miramax chief Harvey Weinstein, is calling it quits with his wife after 18 years of marriage. After not living up to his promise to cut back on his long hours (after all, he's in a custody battle of another kind with Disney head MIchael Eisner), the couple have amicably separated. "Harvey has never worked as hard as he has in the past year," said one insider. "He's married to his work." Apparently. But we just want to know who retains the lucrative film rights to Fahrenheit 9/11, the controversial Michael Moore documentary which Weinstein financed, in the divorce settlement.
posted by Benyamin | 1:42 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Friendly fire
We've found out what David Schwimmer has been doing since Friends went off the air in May. Apparently, he's been hanging out with Saving Silverman star Amanda Peet. They were reportedly seen holding hands and looking a little 'friendly' at a Manhattan eatery. Heh? You like the 'friend' reference? It's a double entendre -- get it? Ok, never mind.
posted by Benyamin | 1:33 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Waiter ... there's a Shmuley in my soup
In recent weeks Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has been lambasting the Kabbalah Centre in the press for using Madonna as its spokesperson. So it must've been a bit awkward when Shmuley and Madonna's husband, director Guy Ritchie, were both seen dining at the upscale Manhattan kosher eatery Solo. "It was like the showdown at the OK Corral," says a source.
posted by Benyamin | 11:15 AM | Link | (0) comments |
The Mechanical Mohel
"The SmartKlamp® is a new, one time use only, circumcision tool, which is designed to create, a safer, faster, and smarter way to perform circumcisions."

Cringe.
posted by Mobius | 10:13 AM | Link | (0) comments |
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