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Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Fashion faux pas
As usual, the New York Times is late to a story that has already gotten national press in both the secular and Jewish media for more than a year already: Jewish fashion is hip. Stop the presses. What? Madonna wears a red string on her wrist? Get out! No way! ... In any event, the story (besides sticking to the archaic 11th century spelling of "Cabala") does offer one unique tidbit: That Madonna dons tefillin. What? Madonna's interested in Judaism? Who knew?
posted by Benyamin | 2:45 PM | Link | (4) comments |
Madonna's free tickets ... for sale
People looking to score front-row seats to Madonna's concerts this summer need only call one place -- their local Kabbalah Centre. The Material Girl has been donating the 50 best seats in the house in each city to the local branches of the Kabbalah Centre so she can sing and dance while looking at her fellow red-string wearing mystical believers. The funny thing (as if this story even needed another layer) is that the Kabbalah Centres are, in turn, scalping the free tickets to the highest bidder offering purchases a write-off for making a tax-deductible donation to the 501c3 organization. Perhaps that explains the Jesus freak in the front row at her last show.
posted by Benyamin | 11:06 AM | Link | (0) comments |
From presidential candidate to reality TV host
Reverend Al Sharpton is joining the reality TV bandwagon with his upcoming show for Spike TV called I Hate My Job. The show, which will feature Sharpton helping contestants with career makeovers, will premiere in the fall. "I'm the working man's (Donald) Trump," Sharpton said. "He brings people into the penthouse. We bring them into the house." Man, why can;t Shmuley do something like this?
posted by Benyamin | 10:50 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Brit's bridal maidel
Britney Spears has hired Jewish wedding planner Yifat Oren to help her plan her November nuptials to Kevin Federline. Maybe she can score us an invite -- unless, of course, the wedding is cancelled. But knowing Britney as we do, we're sure she's headed down the primrose-paved road to marital bliss. (giggle)
posted by Benyamin | 10:42 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
I want my R(eligion)TV!
Courtesy of The Daily Show's Rob Kutner, you can take a look at a possible line-up of new religious themed programming. It's all on the heels of the apocalyptic "Left Behind" series of books and the ever-so-popular snuff film, "The Passion of the Christ."

Our favorite: Share Your Enthusiasm - "Larry David becomes a born-again Christian, then goes around annoying people in an entirely new way."
posted by Bradford | 11:34 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Spelling error
Tori Spelling's wedding is going on as planned this weekend, but it was almost called off because the groom refused to sign a pre-nup. He later reneged and everything is said to be back on track. Whew, that's good to know. Because we spent a ton of money on their present.
posted by Benyamin | 10:40 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Yacht-a yada
The Italians are pretty miffed with Microsoft honcho Bill Gates after the gazillionaire and his wife attempted to drag tables, chairs, and 300 torches from their docked yacht, "Goygpus", onto the sandy beaches of Sardinia -- an ecological no-no. Does it bother anyone that Gates calls his yacht "Goygpus"?
posted by Benyamin | 10:31 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wedded bliss ... finally
This Labor Day weekend, there'll be a Seinfeld wedding. Well, sort of. Seinfeld's wife, Jessica, left her first husband, Eric Nederlander, after just one week of marriage. She went on to marry the ultimate comedian and they now have two kids. It seems the scorned first husband has decided to move on and will wed Broadway heiress Lindsey Kupferman this September, just days before Rosh Hashanah. And a happy ew year it'll be.
posted by Benyamin | 9:59 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, June 28, 2004
Name dropping (literally)
MSNBC's gossip column reports that Faye Resnick, she of O.J. Simpson trial fame, has been spotted recently at the Los Angeles branch of the Kabbalah Centre. Remind us again -- who's Faye Resnick? ... Ah, yes ... that's Faye Resnick.
posted by Benyamin | 6:53 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Mechitza Madge
Apparently, when she attends synagogue Madonna sits right near the mechitza -- on the men's side.
posted by Benyamin | 6:50 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Religious rap
Rapper Kanye West is getting Biblical in his new music video for Jesus Walks. The video -- which has three different versions airing on MTV, MTV2, and mtv.com -- contains images of Klansmen burning a cross, a prostitute selling tricks, and -- get this -- a Jesus figure magically refilling an empty refrigerator. Despite these overt images, West refused to describe himself as religious. "Religion just means that you do something over and over," he said. "I will say that I'm spiritual. I have accepted Jesus as my savior. And I will say that I fall short every day." Amen, brother.
posted by Benyamin | 6:37 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Signs meets The Passion

In what may be the weirdest act of antisemitism ever concocted, a Jewish family in Oregon discovered that someone had used weed killer to burn a 15-foot cross into their front lawn. The police are investigating Mel Gibson fans in the immediate neighborhood.
posted by Mobius1ski | 11:15 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Sunday, June 27, 2004
It's only June ... and Hitler has already entered our election
Liberal groups are crying foul at a new Bush 'webmercial' that uses footage of Hitler alongside images of prominent Democrats (and Michael Moore, who isn't a Democrat). In the minute-and-a-half long ad, "Hitler is shown, speaking loudly in German. The fuhrer footage is overlaid with the words 'sponsored by MoveOn.org' while the adís opening screen says 'The Faces of John Kerryís Democratic Party.'"

The point? Apparently that Hitler was a Democrat, or maybe Democrats are Nazis. So vote for Bush. Ummm... yeah.

The Moveon.org reference, of course, is to two (out of 1,100) ads submitted as part of a contest a few months back. The point was to make a winning anti-Bush ad, and the Hitler ads were quickly pulled down from the website. If you didn't know anything about that, then the ad would be a bit confusing. Or maybe that's the point.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to pooh-pooh the president for putting out an ad like this. Using Hitler and Nazism to tar your political opponents seems a bit like bad form and more than a little bit tasteless. Nevertheless, it's not like Bush is alone in this. As I pointed out in a Jewsweek article last year, people from all sides of the aisle are using the Holocaust as their own personal metaphor. The question, I suppose, is what counts as an accurate lesson to draw from Hitler's crimes.

Now, I will pooh-pooh the president for being so ineptly heavy-handed in his recent 'webmercial.' As a professional content developer has said, "If youíre not aware of the MoveOn.org campaign, it seems like a ridiculous point. Itís picking up a spitball, polishing it, and throwing it back at them. Itís like saying: 'Iím like Hitler? No youíre like Hitler'."
posted by Bradford | 11:33 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Madonna, El Al passenger after all
Madonna may not be making a tour stop in Israel, but she will be visiting the holy land with a group of 100 Kabbalah students this October. Her trip is planned around the Sukkot festival where she may be shaking her lulav as well as a few other assets.
posted by Benyamin | 11:30 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Hair raising
It seems the sheitl controversy is still not over. In an interview that aired Wednesday, Clinton told ABC's Good Morning America that he did not immediately come clean about Monica Lewinsky because he was "pretty wigged out" and thought he'd lose office if he admitted the affair.
posted by Benyamin | 10:03 AM | Link | (0) comments |
18 and skinny
Mary-Kate Olsen, she of Olsen twin fame, has checked herself into a treatment facility for what appears to be anorexia. Maybe she's just depressed because her idiotic Jewish ex-boyfriend, son of Dreamwork's Jeffrey Katzenberg, cheated on her with two women.
posted by Benyamin | 9:58 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Heavenly music
Former Backstreet Boy Brian Litrell is reportedly close to signing a record deal with a Christian music label. He is considering doing a reworked, spiritual version of the Marvin Gaye/James Taylor song How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You. "I'm not trying to dirty up the Christian market," he says." What we want to know is this: If a washed-up rocker makes a statement in public, does anyone really hear it?
posted by Benyamin | 9:48 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Spears' spirituality
Many Britney fans are wondering whether their idol is still seeking the truth in Kabbalah. It appears the troubled rock princess -- who is recovering from knee surgery and was forced to cancel her tour -- has not been wearing the trademark mystical red string. Some sources even say that Brit's mom is anti-Kabbalah (who could be anti-Kabbalah?). But Spears' spokesperson confirms that she is in fact still a student of Jewish mysticism. Another source points out that the string bracelet supposedly crumbles and falls off when it's absorbed too much negative energy. "With what she's been going through, maybe her bracelets keep crumbling."
posted by Benyamin | 9:42 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Madge of honor
Our friend Ari Engel from over at PilotYid.com attended the Madonna/Esther concert last night at Madison Square Garden in New York and was kind enough to send us his list of Jewish references from the event. So, take it away, Ari...

1. Throughout the show there were Kabbalistic looking Hebrew letters and symbols flashing on the stage's screen, mainly during 'Like A Prayer' but also during other songs.

2. Some of the shirtless male dancers were wearing tefillin-looking straps on their left arms during one of the songs.

3. Naturally, Madonna was wearing her red bracelet.

4. One of the songs had flags of all the countries flashing on the screen behind the stage, it seemed to me that the Israeli flag got more time than the other flags.

5. During one of the songs (American Life?) she had dancers dressed as various religions, including a woman wearing a burqa, a Cardinal looking guy, and two guys dressed as chassidim.

6. One of the videos on the screen was of a little Israeli (with a yarmulka) and an Arab kid with their arms around each other smiling, and walking away together 'in peace'. This was followed by the "Spirituality For Kids" logo which is an organization promoting Kabbalah for children.

7. Some of the t-shirts for sale (which were priced from $20 to $85), had more Kabbalistic looking Hebrew lettering and symbols, and another that had 'Madonna' spelled out in Hebrew.
posted by Benyamin | 11:25 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Book worm
Monica Lewinsky, everyone's favorite Jewish intern, is reportedly being inundated with media requests for her review of Bill Clinton's new book. The scorned Lewinsky has been trying to keep a low-profile as of late, but was recently spotted in Clinton's hometwon of Little Rock, Ark. attending a friend's wedding. She was actually invited for a sneak peek of the Clinton Presidential Library there, but when she found out they didn't have a copy of her 1999 tell-all Monica's Story, she declined the invitation. (That was all true, except for the last 21 words.)
posted by Benyamin | 10:59 AM | Link | (1) comments |
Monday, June 21, 2004
Perhaps it should be called 'American Savior'
You almost knew it'd happen sooner or later, but you have to wonder sometimes about the sanctity of anything. It would appear there's going to be a Christian version of American Idol. The show will be called "Gifted," and will feature contestants singing gospel and contemporary spiritual songs in front a panel of celebrity judges who will wittle them down to eight finalists. Then America chooses, but we all know who really gets to pick our pop prophet, the musical messiah -- that's right; it's the man upstairs.

We wonder who will play the Simon Cowell part, and what will his viscious critiques be? Here's a quick list of possible pithy one-liners:
- "What would Jesus do? Not give you a recording contract."
- "So God sent his only begotten son to by sacrificed on the cross just so you could bore us with your singing? I don't think so."
- "Look, do better or we'll sick Mel Gibson on your bon bons."
posted by Bradford | 3:58 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Guess who's coming to dinner
Madonna, who we reported a year ago changed her name to Esther, was seen at the kosher New York restaurant Solo celebrating the birthday of Kabbalah Centre leader Rabbi Michael Berg. What's next for Madonna: Singing at Berg's son's bar mitzvah?
posted by Benyamin | 3:49 PM | Link | (0) comments |
The gospel according to the Simpsons
Rowan Williams, aka the Archbishop of Canterbury, may be making a guest-sppearance on The Simpsons. The 54-year-old head of the world's 70 million Anglicans says he is a big fan of the show. "It punctures lots of pompous fictions about how the world works," he said. The Simpsons has long been adored by the religious community. After all, many of the show's creators were Orthodox Jews. Now, we're just wondering when Israel's chief rabbi will make his cameoon King of the Hill.
posted by Benyamin | 1:02 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Natalie who?
Police picked up a French college student near the Sea Cliff, L.I., summer home of Jewish princess Natalie Portman after Postman's mome called the cops in fear that the boy reading a book near their curb was stalking her daughter. "I was sitting on the sidewalk, reading The Alchemist, and apparently it was near the corner of her house," the man said. "The police show up and they asked me for my ID and ran a check in their car. I asked, 'Is it a crime to read a book now?'". The irony of it all came when he was asked about Portman and he responded that, "the name didn't register with me."
posted by Benyamin | 3:36 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Eishet chayil, stepford style
Take our recommendation. Go see the hilarious new remake of The Stepford Wives starring an all-star cast including Matthew Broderick, Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler, and Christopher Walken. If you go, you'll be treated to a scene where Midler's Jewish character is attending a WASPy wives book club telling them what she does with her pinecones during Christmastime: She uses them to write out the words "BIG JEW" on her roof.
posted by Benyamin | 2:55 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Can Stiller be saved?
Ben Stiller can soon be seen in his new screwball comedy Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, the fourth of seven movies he is scheduled to release in 2004. MSNBC thinks the cinematic Stiller carpet-bombing will ruin the career of this Jewish thespian.
posted by Benyamin | 5:35 PM | Link | (0) comments |
The Lubavitcher's rigged the spelling bee
No, really. It's a vast Jewish conspiracy we tell ya. You heard it here first. OK, so maybe not. Either way it might be helpful to Jonathan Hahn if Lubavitcher Jews streamlined their spelling. Mr. Hahn, 14 of Central Community School in Elkader, Iowa, was knocked out of the National Spelling Bee when he couldn't spell the L-word.

How much fuel will this give to those who allege such Jewish conspiracies? We know not the answer.
posted by Bradford | 2:54 PM | Link | (0) comments |
From Nazi to Noah
Actor Ryan Gosling is really trying to play against type. Most of us know the 23-year-old Canadian thespian from his "this-role-made-me-famous" turn in 2001's The Believer playing a self-hating Jew turned neo-Nazi. In his new film The Notebook, which arrives in theaters on June 25th, he plays the role of a passionate WWII soldier reuniting with his true love. And now rumor has it that he'll be playing the role of Noah in an upcoming Biblical epic.
posted by Benyamin | 6:35 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, June 14, 2004
You stinkin' son of a Nazi
The Media Yenta blog points us to a rather odd Fox News story reporting that Kevin Spacey's father was a member of the Nazi party. The article says that Spacey's dad "was a Holocaust denier who railed against Jews at the dinner table and never held a full-time job. He collected Nazi memorabilia, was a full-time member of the American Nazi Party, and even made Randy [Kevin's older brother] quit Cub Scouts because the troop leader was Jewish." Wait a minute ... he never held a full-time job? Man, that's just crazy.
posted by Benyamin | 5:51 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Leap frog
Jordan Levin, the head of the WB network and the guy that brought us Dawson's Creek, the Jamie Kennedy Experiment, and the Surreal Life, will be leaving his post as head of the network. Only 36-years-old, he was the youngest Jew to ever run a television network.
posted by Benyamin | 5:36 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Photo phinish
Could you possibly be any more Metrodox?
posted by Benyamin | 5:25 PM | Link | (0) comments |
The Jewish Apprentice
It was only a matter of time before reality television found its way into the holy sanctums of observant Jewish life. The Yeshiva, which follows the Talmudic-filled lives of an Orthodox yeshiva, took two-and-a-half years to make and is about to air on Israeli prime-time television. No word yet on what the hell they do for an elimination ceremony? Break the Torah? Touch a girl?
posted by Benyamin | 5:14 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Cuckoo for Coco
Following the recent trend of Jewish celebs calling their newborns with utterly ridiculous names (Can anyone say Apple Blythe Alison Martin?), Courteney Cox Arquette and her half-Jewish husband David Arquette welcomed a baby girl this week. Her name? Coco Cox Arquette. What baby naming book are these people reading?
posted by Benyamin | 4:48 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
The Unending Controversy of Mel
Mel Gibson just can't get away from controversy to save his soul -- or perhaps he's neck-deep in controversy to save his soul. Ummm... moving on.

It turns out, Gibson is having to sue Regal Entertainment (nation's largest theater chain) for a rather paltry sum of $40 million. Seems Regal promised to pony up 55 percent of the box office receipts, then reneged and only coughed up 34. Considering the film is number 7 on the list of all-time box office bonanzas, it's not hard to see why Regal might want to back out of a deal that so handsomely benefits somebody else, but that's nothing compared to the other most recent Gibson scandal.

It would appear that Gibson's touting of Sister Anne Catherine Emmerich's "eye-witness" visions of Jesus' crucifixion (she was born in 1774, died in 1824) has got her on the fast-track for sainthood. Considering she was an avowed anti-Semite who painted Jews as considerably cruel, this has a few people ticked off. It was ostensibly her influence that got Satan plopped into the Jewish mobs, so the Vatican has taken the limited step of saying, "Look. We're beatifying her, not her books. Love the celebrity nun, hate the celebrity nun's core beliefs -- you know what we mean?"

Uhhh, yeah. We know exactly what you mean.
posted by Bradford | 5:37 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Kabbalah for kids
Kabbalah enthusiast Madonna is penning her third of five children's Kabbalah books called "Yakov and the Seven Thieves". The Material Girl, who no longer calls herself a Catholic but a Kabbalist instead, describes her new work as "a story about how all of us have the ability to unlock the gates of heaven ó no matter how unworthy we think we are. For when we go against our selfish natures, we make miracles happen, in our lives and in the lives of others." No word yet on whether the book, due out June 21, comes with a bottle of magical Kabbalah water.
posted by Benyamin | 4:06 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Casper, the friendly ghost
Sex kitten Anne Nicole Smith is getting supernatural on us. Though not Jewish, it seems Smith is a firm believer in the World to, er, Come. She tells the new issue of FHM magazine that "A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas," she says. "I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn't. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, 'Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.'"
posted by Benyamin | 3:57 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Waxing poetic
We should just assume that each week we should leave some space for the wacky mystical antics of Madonna. What's she up to now, you ask? She's helping promote a new line of Kabbalah candles which have names like Evil Eye and Sexual Energy. We wonder if Madge uses them to light Shabbat candles.
posted by Benyamin | 3:52 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Shark attack
Wild comedian and member of the tribe Jack Black (School of Rock) is really racking up those frequent flyer miles. He's currently in New Zealand filming King Kong for Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. And he recently went to the Cannes Film Festival in France where he was off promoting Dreamworks' animated Shark Tale, due out in October, where he plays the voice of Lenny the Shark. "I have now made a movie with Robert de Niro and Martin Scorsese. But animation being what it is, I still have not met them," Black admitted.
posted by Benyamin | 3:46 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Princess of tides
Get out your Jewish mysticism scorecards because we've got yet another celeb who has reportedly joined the ranks of the cult ... er, sect of Judaism. And it's none other than Barbra Streisand who's been spotted stopping by the L.A. offices of the Kabbalah Centre along with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Paris Hilton. "Scientology seems passť and Kabbalah has supplanted that organization as the so-called celebrity cult du jour," cult watcher Rick Ross told MSNBC.
posted by Benyamin | 3:41 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Watch your kids ... or else
An Italian magistrate warned yesterday against the growing lure of Antichrist cults in Catholic Italy after the discovery of the bodies of two teenagers killed in a satanic sacrifice. So, explain this to me: In America would that be like BBYO on crack?
posted by Benyamin | 11:02 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Jap slap
Dallas Cowboys Bill Parcells is apologizing for a comment he made where he used the slang term "Jap" to refer to Orientals. Akira Kuboshima, the editor of Japan's American Football Magazine who was in the room, said he wasn't offended but believed some people would be. "There is a lot of chance for someone to feel offended," Kuboshima said. "To me, it was no big deal." Wait ... there's a Japanese publication called American Football Magazine. What's up with that? And how come no Jewish American Princesses (JAP) were offended by the comment? Oh right, they don't care about sports.
posted by Benyamin | 10:06 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Monday, June 07, 2004
Skin problems
Apparently, Britney Spears isn't following all of the laws in the Torah. Last week we reported that non-Jewish diva started keeping kosher. This week comes word that she and her new boyfriend got matching tattoos. C'mon, even Madonna knows Judaism frowns upon tattoos, matching or otherwise.
posted by Benyamin | 2:43 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Patinkin's prostate
We've just heard from Mandy Patinkin's reps and they told us that the Jewish actor (The Princess Bride and Yiddish singer (Mamaloshon) is home recovering from his recent prostate cancer surgery. When he's well, he hopes to continue his volunteer efforts with Americans for Peace Now, an organization for which he recently wrote an appeal to help raise funds for them.
posted by Benyamin | 12:08 PM | Link | (0) comments |
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Foul play?
Apparently, the Atlanta Braves have a very devout clubhouse. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported recently on John Smoltz and many others attending the Bible study class held every Wednesday by the team. "You won't find another team with that many guys showing up for Bible study," said Cash, one of 30 major league representatives of Baseball Chapel, a ministry granted clubhouse access by Major League Baseball. "We've got a unique group compared to a lot of major league teams." Unique indeed: During spring training in March, Smoltz and others chipped in $1,000 to rent out a theater for Braves players --- minor leaguers included --- to see The Passion of the Christ. Not eveyone is happy with the clubhouse proseltyzing. Chipper Jones, for one, feels Smoltz is being a little too pushy. "There have been people in this clubhouse that do force it on players; there's no quicker way to drive a person away from chapel," Chipper Jones said. "I don't like going to chapel for the simple fact that during the course of a year, you'll listen to 15 people's interpretation of the Bible. I don't believe that does anything but confuse people. It may be the perception that because you don't go to chapel, you're not a God-fearing Christian. That couldn't be farther from the truth."
posted by Benyamin | 10:06 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Curb ball
Jewish comedian Larry David, who on his hit HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm is known for being cantankerous and curmudgeonly, may have actually saved someone's life. 24-year-old Juan Catalan was accused of killing 16-year-old Martha Puebla in a gang-related murder and was on trial when he used the Curb Your Enthusiasm defense. Catalan claimed he could not have committed the crime in question because he was attending a Dodgers game the night of the murder. Curb's connection? They were filming a scene where David brings a hooker to the baseball game at the stadium that night. The court looked through extra footage that had been filmed and, lo and behold, there was Catalan in his seat at the time of the murder. Says David: "I tell people that I've done one decent thing in my life, albeit inadvertently."
posted by Benyamin | 11:28 AM | Link | (0) comments |
Give charity today
Jeff Jarvis, our blog buddy over at buzzmachine.com, is working with Spirit of America to help collect contributions from Americans to buy Iraqi citizens the things they need to help rebuild their country and their future: tools, broadcasting equipment, sewing machines, business loans, blog hosting ... you get the point. So help out a good man and a good cause.
posted by Benyamin | 9:30 AM | Link | (0) comments |
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