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| Monday, December 29, 2003 |
Hands off
An Israeli company has required thousands of Chinese workers to sign a contract promising not to have sex with Israelis or try to convert them. According to the document, male workers cannot come into contact with Israeli women -- including prostitutes -- become their lovers or marry them. From what we already know of Israeli women, the jury is still out on whether this is actually a bad thing.
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| Wednesday, December 24, 2003 |
Caption contest
 We got this pic from Arafat's Web site. Let us know your ideas for a clever caption by clicking on the "Do you yada?" link and posting your thoughts.
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Lenny Bruce's personal Yom Kippur
Jewish comedian Lenny Bruce, who went down in history for his trailblazing comedic stylings in the 1960's, has finally been forgiven. Bruce was posthumously pardoned Tuesday by New York Gov. George Pataki for his 1964 obscenity conviction. "Freedom of speech is one of the greatest American liberties and I hope this pardon serves as a reminder of the precious freedoms we are fighting to preserve as we continue to wage the war on terror," Pataki said. It's important to note that it was the first posthumous pardon in New York state history. It's also important to note that Pataki is seeking re-election.
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'Pan'ning it
While the new version of Peter Pan, now in theaters, is receiving relatively good reviews, not everyone is singing its praises. The Family Research Center, a conservative Christian group, has told its constituents that the film is inappropriate for children. "If moms and dads are looking for ways to protect their kids from a graphic sex education, beware of this movie," warns the group's Web site. "As far as we’re concerned, the only time and place to see it is never, neverland." What is it with Neverland and inappropriate things with children? Paging Michael Jackson, anyone?
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Chanukah Bush
 President Bush held an open house reception last night at the White House in honor of Chanukah. About 75 invited guests -- including rabbis and other Jewish leaders -- took part in the two-hour event. Rumor has it Bush had trouble spinning the dreidel.
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| Monday, December 22, 2003 |
No latkes for Vilna
Residents of a Lithuanian resort received an early Christmas present when 50 tons of bananas washed up on the Baltic coast. Officials believe the good, um, tiding, was the result of a crate falling off a nearby ship. The Gaon of Vilna could not be reached for comment.
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Dis-banding
A German court ruled on Monday that a neo-Nazi band is guilty of forming a criminal association. This is the first time a collective prosecution of this kind has been brought against a musical group. Apparently the band has no idea that the Jews control the music industry.
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Seeing through the fog
Vadim Perelman, the Jewish director of House of Sand and Fog, says he got his inspiration for directing in the strangest of places -- a childhood viewing of Fiddler on the Roof. "I saw the director creating his own little world and I realized I wanted to do that," Perelman told the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. "I walked out of that classroom as huge snowflakes were falling and I thought, 'I know what I want to do with my life'." Apparently, Perelman did a good job. The film's main actor, Ben Kingsley, has just been nominated for a Golden Globe for his performance.
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More of Mel's Passion
The Associated Press is just abut the last media outlet to write an article about Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ, but they were one of the only ones to score an interview with Gibson himself. While the filmmaker doesn't really say anything new, the Associated Press did squeeze this tidbit of information into the article: Mother Mary, who is seen mopping up the blood after the crucifixion, is played by Jewish actress Maia Morgenstern, the daughter of a Holocaust survivor. Wonder what her ancestors are thinking.
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| Sunday, December 21, 2003 |
Stewart Mania
 It seems the media can't get enough of Jewish satirist Jon Stewart. Recently, the 41-year-old graced the cover of Esquire Magazine. A month ago, it was the cover of Entertainment Weekly. At about the same time, Jewsweek launched it's weekly "Jewsweek Jewriffic Awards" based on a comment Stewart made on his Daily Show. And now, comes the coveted cover of Newsweek this week. "Sure, Saturday Night Live had Al Sharpton, and Jay Leno entertained John Kerry on a Harley, but The Daily Show has got everyone by the throat," writes Newsweek's Marc Peyser. "The program won two Emmys this year -- beating Leno and Letterman -- and is becoming the coolest pit stop on television." That, and it has some of the best Jewish humor on the boob tube. To Stewart, we raise a glass -- L'chaim!
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Michael Mohammed Jackson
 Can the Michael Jackson saga get any wierder? Apparently, it can. Reports come this week that Louis Farrakhan and his cult, the Nation of Islam (not to be confused with the real Islam), want to get back in the media limelight. Their modus operandi? Hooking up with the embattled Michael Jackson. The Nation of islam, who count brother Jermaine Jackson as one of their members, first asked the pop icon to ged rid of his slew of advisors including Hollywood attorney Mark Geragos. When Michael Jackson refused, the Nation of Islam, trying to grasp at anything, asked if they could provide a security team for Jackson. According to reports, Jackson said fine. Years later, it still seems Jackson hasn't listened to the advice of his once rabbi, Shmuley Boteach.
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| Friday, December 19, 2003 |
Nazi propaganda
Michael Caine stars in a new movie called The Statement about ex-Nazi on the run. "I decided to play the French Nazi Brossard because his character was the farthest removed from my own," Caine told the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles he said. "I don't want anyone to sympathize with Brossard, but I play him as a pathetic and sad man. I have talked to many racists and I always come away feeling how pathetic they are." Yes, David Duke is pathetic.
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Rock the vote
As we reported here a couple weeks ago, our favorite Kabbalist has been supporting the presidential campaign of General Wesley Clark. We suggested that Madonna's fascination with Clark was because his dad was Jewish, but now Madonna is speaking out on why she is supporting this candidate. "He's interested in spirituality -- I mean, those things mean a lot to me," the pop icon told CNN. Guess Lieberman's Jewish observance doesn't mean much.
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Old man becomes citizen
A 104-year-old Jewish Russian immigrant realized a dream this week by becoming a United States citizen -- one of the oldest immigrants ever to take the oath. The naturalization ceremony was held at a hospital where Shlema Khaimovich Livshits is being treated for a heart condition. mazal Tov. Now, Shelma, can you tell me who was our 29th vice president?
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Back to the blogosphere
Due to the fact that we were switching servers, our site was down for a few days -- and, as usual, these things tend to take longer than we originally expect. But special thanks goes out to Mobius (of Jewschool fame) for his tireless design and tech help for making sure we could get back to the busniess of blogging. Speaking of Mobius, if anyone needs a good Web designer, he's your man.
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| Tuesday, December 16, 2003 |
Unchained melody
Singer Lauryn Hill launched into a vitriolic tirade against abusive priests during a Christmas concert at the Vatican. Wait ... Lauryn Hill? She's still around?
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Yasher koach, Winona
Jewish actress Winona Ryder was commended by a Los Angeles judge on Monday for sticking to the terms of her probation. Charged for shoplifting, Ryder wll be tempted over the next week during Chanukah present shopping time.
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| Monday, December 15, 2003 |
Madonna merchandising madness
Madonna is really raking it in with this Kabbalah craze. Word now is that she's making dolls to tie in with characters from her Kabbalah-themed kids' books. The first one up is a Binah doll from The English Roses. The dolls, which are supposed to promote the ideals of inner beauty and the perils of jealousy, are expected to rake in more than $10 million the first year.
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| Friday, December 12, 2003 |
Strange bedfellows
In what has to be one of the oddest pairings we've seen in a long time, noted sex therapist Dr. Ruth is joining forces with Hillel to promote passion -- about Israel. Dr. Ruth will serve as international honorary chair of Hillel's new "love is real" pro-Israel campaign. The world's largest Jewish campus organization and the diminutive diva of responsible romance are joining together to introduce college students to one of the world’s oldest love stories: the romance between the Jewish people and the land of Israel. "The relationship between the Jewish people and Israel can serve as a model," says Dr. Ruth. "It is loving, lasting, and responsible."
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| Thursday, December 11, 2003 |
All Buff N' Stuff
 Look out Aghnold! David Schlossman, a chappenin cheeb and prominent gym owner from Kansas City, KS, is the new WNBF Natural Gold's Classic Bodybuilding Champion! So much for the nebbishy, unathletic weakling stereotype. This guy can totally kick your ass.
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'Gold' digger
 Jewish comedienne Judy Gold, who was recently featured on Comedy Central's "Heroes of Jewish Comedy", is finding herself in big trouble. At a fundraiser for Democratic presidential hopeful Howard Dean, Gold called President Bush a "piece of s**t." As a result of that off-color remark, Gold told Howard Stern this week that she's been receiving death threats. The truth is she was never that funny anyway.
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Move over JCupid
An online dating service with apparent ties to Scientology is making waves in Australia. Affinity International is being sued by a farmer who allegedly forked over more than $50,000 and has yet to find true love. In other religiously affiliated dating site news: Jewish dating behemoth JDate.com has bought out its lead competitor JCupid.com. A monopoly in the Jewish dating market -- is this a good thing?
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| Wednesday, December 10, 2003 |
A mighty wind
Jim Caviezel, the man who will go down in history as the actor portraying Jesus in Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ, told the BBC that he felt uncomfortable in the role -- literally. "It was very uncomfortable up there on the cross," he said. "Very windy. I almost blew over."
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| Tuesday, December 09, 2003 |
Hitler Wine meets legal whine
Those damn Italians. Those damn Belgians. As an update to the story about an Italian wine featuring images of Hitler and other Nazi leaders giving their proverbial salutes, a group of Belgians are now preparing to sue. More specifically, Belgium's official anti-racism center is preparing legal action to block import of the wine. Those feisty Belgians do like to sue. Other legal actions they've made waves with include lawsuits against Ariel Sharon. At least this time they're on our side.
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An officer and a gentleman
 Joining the ranks of peace-seeking celebs like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston, Richard Gere made a trek to the Holy Land this week. His trip included stops to the Western Wall (that's him in the pic) and to the West Bank, where the actor hugged Palestinian legislators and spoke with Israeli settlers. Gere, who made a similar tour in June, refused to talk to reporters. If he's trying to make a statement, that's hardly the way to go about it.
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Etu, Brutus?
Democratic presidential hopeful and observant Jew Senator Joseph Lieberman gave a rather candid interview this morning to the Today Show's Matt Lauer. The main topic of discussion? Al Gore's endorsement of Lieberman competitor Howard Dean. Lieberman, who ran on Gore's presidential ticket in the 2000 election, told Lauer he "was caught completely off-guard" by Gore's decision to back Dean. Lauer went on to read a week-old Lieberman quote in which the Senator said that if he was elected president he would have Gore be part of his cabinet. Lauer then pointedly asked if that still applied in light of the new events. "I say that's less likely this morning," Lieberman said. Ouch.
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| Monday, December 08, 2003 |
Get thee to a nunnery
 Thanks to Gawker.com, we're aware of some evil plan hatching. After the initial success of Fox's The Simple Life, which places hip socialites Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on an Arkansas farm for a month, one Fox executive is sure other networks will soon hop on the "Stranger among us" bandwagon. "I'm sure executives at the other networks are hearing pitches from producers saying, "I can get Cher into a nunnery,'" he said. "You're going to see a lot of shows with celebrities put into weird situations." May we suggest Mel Gibson in a synagogue?
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'Passion' play
The official Web site for Mel Gibson's upcoming Jesus biopic is now online. The site features a teaser trailer and downloadable fan kits complete with discussion guides and flyers to hang around your synagoue. er, church.
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Rebbetzin Dean
Contrary to popular belief, Hadassah Lieberman doesn't have the Jewish First Lady market cornered. The wife of Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean, Dr. Judith Steinberg, is the daughter of Long Island Jewish doctors. In a fascinating profile on the potential First Lady, Salon.com says that her religion shouldn't play much of a factor in the election until things kick in to high gear at the Democratic Convention. Says Carl Anthony in the article: "Once it seems like someone's definitely going to get the nomination, that's when you'll see Judy Dean's recipe for challah bread somewhere." Maybe her and Hadassah could have a cholent cook-off.
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| Friday, December 05, 2003 |
Take a left at the Jewish American Princess
Several civil rights groups have filed a discrimination complaint trying to get a small community in southeast Texas to remove a racial slur from its city maps by changing the name of its "Jap Road." The complaint was not filed by a rabid group fo Jewish American Princesses. It was issued by the Japanese American Citizens League.
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| Thursday, December 04, 2003 |
And that Hanukkah Harry guy isn't real either
Some Florida parents are irate after their children's first-grade teacher told the kids that Santa Claus isn't real. "He had this sad, lost puppy dog look on his face. This unhappy, empty look," said parent Sandra Jolly. He said his teacher informed the entire class that Santa is make-believe."
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Merry Chanukah, Barry
Harry Connick, Jr. is not the only Jew to make a Christmas album. Barry Manilow, who's had a long-time fascination with Yuletide melodies, told the Associated Press this week that it doesn't plague him with any cognitive dissonance. "It's holiday music, really. It's not religious music," Manilow said. "What I love about the holidays is families getting together, people giving to each other, stopping, smiling, hollering at each other." Ah, the holidays at mishpachat Manilow.
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Raise a 'Glass'
 Shattered Glass, the new film about Jewish journalist Stephen Glass, was nominated today for four Independent Spirit Awards including one for Best Feature. The film tracks the true story of the downward spiral of Glass, a young journalist who was caught fabricating his stories for The New Republic in 1998. Congrats to writer-director Billy Ray, an avid Jewsweek reader and fellow member of the tribe, on the nomination. The awards will be announced at a ceremony on February 28, 2004, which will air live on IFC at 5:00 pm EST.
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Is Saddam the next Grisham?
Before Saddam was booted out of Iraq in March, he was in the middle of working on his fourth (yes fourth) novel. His longtime translator, Saman Abdul Majid, tells Newsweek the book was an attack on Jews set in the times of Abraham. The madman's title: "Get Out of Here, You Demons!" Sounds like bedtime reading to us.
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Super Maidele
 Amy Pascal, co-chairman of Sony Pictures and fellow member of the tribe, was named Hollywood's most powerful woman this week. The Hollywood Reporter gave her the honor, in part, because it was under her watch that the cash cow Spider-Man franchise took off. A wonder woman indeed.
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| Tuesday, December 02, 2003 |
Sour notes
Holocaust movies are suppossed to be surrounded in grace and class. Instead, the trial began this week in charges of influence peddling for the Polish co-producer of the Oscar-winning films The Pianist and Schindler's List. Some 1.5 million Poles tuned in to watch the hearings. If only that many people actually liked The Pianist.
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Hey Vatican, wait for Jesus
In the ongoing and continuing controversy surrounding Mel Gibson's Jesus Christ biopic comes this tidbit: The director snubbed the Vatican this week when a group of bishops and cardinals were told at the last minute that they could not see a rough cut of the film as part of a convention on spirituality in film. Gibson's excuse? The film is not yet ready. He better hurry up. The film is slated to open in a theater near you on Easter 2004. ... And then we'll have nothing to talk about. Madonna, where are you?
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A man who knows his way around the kitchen is such an inspiration:
 Rabbi Shlomo Kaplan, a New York mashgiach (kosher supervisor) oversees the kashering process on the first of three kitchens of Chosen Voyage's maiden voyage to the Caribbean, December 1, 2003. Chosen Voyage is the first all kosher cruise ship and has four voyages planned this month -- including an all Chabad all-the-time journey.
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Patently ridiculous
Since the Kabbalah Centre has a developing monopoly on ditzy celebrites (can merger and acquisition talks with the Church of Scientology be far behind?), it'd only make sense that it start trying to patent the ancient symbols of the Jewish mystic tradition. Thankfully, the patent application was rejected. Without any command of Jewish capital, we can rest assured that Madonna shan't be present at the next board meeting of the Elders of Zion. Goodie: without her picking up on all the twenty-something ladies, we'll be sure to clean up.
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| Monday, December 01, 2003 |
Kosher Capers? Gefilte gum shoes?
Believe it or not, crime-ridden (and frequently sex-ridden) detective fiction has gone frum. First up, there's Rochelle Krich's new mystery, "Dream House" (from Ballantine), featuring an L.A. journalist who's Modern Orthodox and dating a rabbi. When she's not following crimes via the police blotter, she's "sampling her mother's kugel and her grandmother's Holocaust stories."
Then there's Faye Kellerman, whose "Stone Kiss" (courtesy of Warner) features an observant L.A. cop Peter Decker. In this title "a distant relative, one of the ultra-Orthodox Jews of Quinton (a thinly disguised Monsey, N.Y.), has been found shot to death in a hotel room, naked. His niece has disappeared. Despite Decker's better judgment, he heads east to help." More titles are listed in a story on the rising phenomenon in the Forward.
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Bono is spreadin' the Semitic love
 We knew Bono was a humanitaran, but we didn't know the Holocaust was one of his pet causes. While in South Africa singing at an AIDS benefit concert, the U2 frontman said he was incensed by the suffering of hundreds of thousands of Africans who cannot afford treatment. "This is an obscenity,'' he said. "This is like watching the Jews being put on trains."
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I ain't getting any 'younger'
Ben Younger based his 2000 film Boiler Room, about a group of testosterone-induced males from Long Island selling phony stocks to unsuspecting middle Americans, on the experiences he had with his own friends. And now comes word from Entertainment Weekly that the young Jewish director is working on a new film in which Sandra Bullock falls for a young lad from Brooklyn. Wonder if that's also based on his own life.
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Curbing his Yiddishkeit
 Last week's issue of Newsweek featured a photo from the upcoming new season of HBO's popular kevtch comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm. The photo featured star Larry David sporting a black yarmulke and talking on a cell phone in a synagogue. He was covered in either blood or spilled wine. Maybe a bris gone bad? We'll have to wait and find out.
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Jewish 'family'
 We have good news for fans of the critically-acclaimed but perennially canceled animated series Family Guy. This week comes word that FOX may revive the adult cartoon, known for its crass humor, stinging satire, and riddled with hilarious Jewish jokes -- including a never-aired episode called "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein". In an article with USA Today, FOX chief Sandy Grushow admitted the show may have aired before its time. If the show does indeed come back it'll be sometime in 2005. We can hardly wait.
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Sour Monica
We finally got our hands on that new copy of GQ Magazine which has the profile of our favorite Jewish intern Monica Lewinsky. In the six-page spread is a photo of Lewinsky as a little girl sporting a green t-shirt. Smack dab across the chest area the t-shirt proclaims, "Kosher Dills Half Sour." There's a Clinton joke in there somewhere. We'll leave it up to you to figure it out.
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Guilty as charged!
All the chocolate and none of the guilt? P'shaw! As if! Gamble away your conscience this Chanukah with Grandma Goldman's Chocolate Guilt, a play on the traditional holiday favorite, chocolate Chanukah gelt, which, instead of the typical menorah impression on the side, bears a Jewish mother upon its foil along with such kvetches as "The phone works both ways you know." Oy gevalt.
The product is the invention of "two Indians and a Chinese guy" from Livingston, NJ (as revealed to me in an e-mail by co-creator Andrew Cheung), and a comedy writer who works for Maxim (who appears to be tending a character blog). Apparently they think an annoying Jewish mother is funny. Perhaps they should try having one.
In any case, the chocolate is OU certified, so if you want to bring home the shlock for the holidays, it's an option. When was the last time guilt tasted this good?
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Our friends over at 
The pope has finally weighed in on Mel Gibson's 
Jewschool 
We can add one more Jew to our ranks. 